I've been dating the girl for 2 years. (Senior year of high school and just finished Freshman year of college). We dated in the earlier years of high school too, but I admit I was too immature back then.
Anyways...
First month started out great. Then she started lying to me.....a lot. I kept giving her chance after chance after chance...horrible mistake. She took advantage of that. She would lie to me, and cover it up so good that she would make ME FEEL BAD for questioning her. She thrives off of drama. She snoops around my email accounts and laptop trying to find pics of girls and porn. Every guy watches porn. If he doesn't, he's either lying or he's gay. All my friends say I need to leave her, I'm too young for this much stress and drama. But it's NOT THAT EASY. I love this girl more than any girl that i've ever dated. She is my FIRST serious relationship/love.
WHAT DO I DO?!?!?!?!?
What do I do when my relationship is going to shit, but deeply love the girl?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by INeedHELP
- Topics:
- school, college, high, girl, love, girlfriend, year, dating, senior, relationship, problem, finished, shit
Answers (68)
Being in the latter years of high school it is common to have feelings of need related to commitment. It is common for people to remain in unhealthy relationships, not because they are rewarded for continuing in it but because it is easier than enduring the reshuffling that follows a breakup in a fixed social system such as a high school setting. If you break up social relationships such as friendships will change and there is a loss of a feeling of belonging. When I was a child, my father told me that when I lost a tooth it would grow back in as pure gold if I could keep my tongue out of the space. Of course I never got a gold tooth because that gap was so big that it was impossible for me to ignore it and keep my tongue away. Part of your feelings are due to the loss of the social setting rather than actually the relationship itself. What to do about your feelings of love? Treasure them, commit them to memory as an episode in your life and move on. You will love many times in your life if you are lucky. Never stay in a relationship due to a feeling of "investment". If you have the thought "but we've been together so long, I cant just walk away....." 'nuff said.
It seems as if your girlfriend is feeling insecure about how you feel about her and if she is someone you feel deeply about or if she is just ... here for the moment until you find someone better.
I recommend simply talking to her and letting her know how you feel about her or just do little romantic things to let her know you are thinking about her. It does not have to be these big expensive gestures... maybe little notes letting her know how special she is - tucked here and there where she can find them... maybe a little flower left on her desk or etc.
Sometimes, the way a person acts is merely a symptom of how they are feeling and it seems to me she feels as if she's trying to ensure she has a place in your heart...
So just give her little casual hints that are cute... to remind her.
il start by saying that every meaningful relationship needs trust love respect and honesty and if ur lacking any of these then ur not working very well. its a first love and they always seem to be great and nothin else compares but you havent had time to learn about the real world and real issues it has. These things build who u are to become. Then ul fall for someone who knows u as u and not a school boy. If its meant to be then suggest time apart cos u dont want to b treated in a suspicious way and u love her but need to think about wot path ur headin in and if u can do it togever and whether it will realistically work. U need to learn to stand up in the big world confidently and grow into a man who wont let anyone treat him in a way that you dont deserve.is this wot u seen for a future. ...not is it.think long and hard.
Take her out to a romantic dinner and tell her how much you love her. Tell her that you really feel bad about what she is doing and explain to her how much that you care for her and that you don't want your relationship to end. Make sure you let her know how much you love her though
my best answer is to just personally sit her down and talk to her and tell her how you feel when she lies to you and all of that cause that aint right... and if she don't except it just walk away and don't look back... and if she accepts it then see where it goes from there but i would just tell her how you feel.. and see where it goes from there to be honest...
believe me bro your girlfriend is skizo, they usually get into a good crisis around 17 or 19 and then when they hit 24 you just cant handle it...
I had the same experience, she was crazy I didn't care about that... you pay the hard price sometime to learn...
those girls make you drop your border and you get so deep in love you want to kill yourself... yes you probably fall in love with a psychopath... your friend are right ... bail!!
she already look into your stuff... hello... its never gonna get better, schizophrenia, you cant deal with that... go learn an other woman/mental illness :P
I personally think that you should leave her, though it's better for you to take up your own decision. There are a lot of faithful girls out there and I know it. Trust, understanding and honesty is the key for a good relationship. You might not love her after those 2yrs, actually. It might had just been self satisfaction of the giddiness it brings you or actually an infatuation for years, haha. But anyways, don't get your hopes too high that she would change. You're in the rocks, just accept that her unfaithfulness and try to consider what I have in mind. ;)
After reading some answers, you clearly have a lot to think about but I think the big question is; what do you want to do? What is she lying to you about? Is it really big like she's cheating on you or is she lying about whose she is speaking to? What is your heart telling you to do?
If she's causing you more sadness than happiness then walk away. Yes it will crush you inside for a while but imagine feeling the way you feel for the rest of your life? If she makes you happy then of course stay by all means but to me it doesn't look like she's making you happy, please please please don't put yourself through misery. If all she is doing is causing you heartache then leave, I know its hard and its going to crush you but honestly you won't be crushed forever but I fear you will be if you stay with her, I doubt she will ever change, she hasn't after 2 years of being with you, so why would she change now? Unless you haven't given her an ultimatum?
Say to her; 'I can't keep doing this, either you stop lying to me or I leave! You can decide!' don't let her try and wiggle her way around you like she has done before, be firm with her and make her understand how you feel.
But as I say, at the end of the day its up to you, your mates will support you no matter what.
I hope this helps you, I hope you are okay, you seem like a nice guy who deserves more than to be played, I hope she realises what she has.
Love Kelsie xxxx
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 Next (68 results)