My head is pounding with stress. In all 14, going on 15 years, of my life, have I ever felt so alone, afraid, and ashamed. All my life I had knew that I wanted to become a kpop idol, and just hearing that, some of you might laugh. But it's true. No matter what people say about us Asians, or our music, I found that behind close doors, I could let go of trying to fit in, and actually do and listen to what I want.

My cousin, who is suppose to audition online with me, has the same dream, but it seems that she would rather continue her life as a fan girl than becoming the girl who has fans. As much as I wanted to carry on my journey without her, I can't. I want to audition with her, just so I can say I wasn't alone. I'm a big girl and can handle training without my family. I just need someone to hold my hand while attempting to become a trainee.

My parents are those traditional ones that fought to get to America, and because of that, they believe that education should be our number one priority.

For the last couple of months I've felt my heart beat faster than it ever has, as I trained hard. I've choreographed about a thousand songs now, and disposed all of them. I've strained my voice so much that it became normal for my throat to burn. My feet are blistered, and my arms ache but because of my dream, I continue on, without my parents knowing. But today, as I filled out the application sheet, I realized that they ask for parental approval, and my heart completely dropped. I had wanted to drop the news only after I was sure that I was accepted. Does YGE really need parental approval? Should I send in my audition clips, and wait to see if they respond and ask for parental approval? Do I talk with my parents? I need help!