... because im scared of the answers and reactions i will get.so i would greatly appreciate it if someone here can tell me whats wrong with me

i constantly feel like i am not here or that i am some how detached from everything around me. every thing is foggy and it makes it extremely difficult to do even the simplest things.j cant consintrate on anything i cant remember what i did even yesterday.i can be really upbeat and really confident one day and then the next day i hate everything about myself and i cant go outside i just sit and cry all day. it gets to a point where im so self conscious ill look up majic spells to try and make it all better overnight(it never works and i know that) ill see or meet someone and become completely obsessed and feel the need to look and act exactly like them.and if i cant do it I completely lose hope in myself and dont want to live anymore

ill also imagine someone or something is behind me or mocking me and trying to hurt me. ill flinch and scream at it to go away and sometimes ill rap myself into a blanket and start thinking about how everything and everyone i know will disappear and die one day like they never existed(the images i see are starting to look very real)

since i was little i do this thing were ill make up a scenario in my head and without realizing it ill start acting it out in a mirror and ill start to think its real

i had these dreams when i was little and ever since i have had a very deep emotional connection to them.we were living in a house.the same house we are now.but it was somhow different.i dont really know how to explain it.it was creepier but i felt more at home.but there was also a very strange uneasy feeling to it and the places around it.it was always so detailed and exiting and i loved it and the people in it but it feels more like reality than actual reality

when i get a small injury(even if i cant feel it) my head will get foggy ill start blacking out for seconds and it gets hard to see and my head will start hurting and feeling tight. ill feel like im going to throw up ill get sweaty andget really hot. my hearing is different and ill feel like im going to faint.i get shaky and weak and i cant stand up.its a the most horrible and most unexplanable thing in the world. when im going through it ill even think of killing myself just to end it becuse it gets so bad.
im sure theres more but this took me forever and i cant think anymore

but i really need an answer

and if possible please tell me how to stop this!!