My husband and I have been fighting for a few months. It was a lot of ups and downs/good days and bad days. He told me he was over stressed with work and school and that I never helped him around the house. I promised I would change and he said that I've said it before. He said he didn't believe me. He sank into depression and I sank with him. I was trying to push him go talk and just made everything worse. I became clingy and dependent, trying to show him that I really loved him, and it just made him more distant. He said he needed time. This last month was the worst. I couldn't focus on anytning but him. Finally it got so bad that we were both at our breaking point. I asked if he wanted a divorce and he said he didn't know what he wanted. He said he can't think straight. I asked him to go stay with our friends until he figured it out. He has been gone 2 weeks now. I'm miserable without him. The night he left, our friends sat him down and told him that if he wanted to leave me, he needed to do it then while I was already hurt, and not wait until I started to recover. He didnt. I have frequent panic attacks and anxiety that is really affecting everything. He told my friend that he is worried about me, and he misses the woman he fell in love with. We haven't talked since he left except last night. I text him about our taxes and he responded. It was casual, but not negative. He initiated some conversation. Will he come back? He only took clothes. He is staying with our friends rent free. I gave him money for the car insurance and payment and he has the car. I've also been taking care of the house, bills, and our dogs. I'm scared, and it's a lot to handle. He usually dealt with everything and I completely see now how stressful it was. We have been together 10 years and had a very loving relationship.
Answers (3)
The first line of defense against depression and anxiety is B vitamins. Get nutritional yeast powder and/or B-100 pills. Vitamin B2 is a water soluble dye that turns urine bright yellow. So when the color fades, it's time for another pill. Read some books about nutrition so you know how to eat right.
Now I hope you don't feel insulted: you asked for advice and I want to give you the best advice I know. I get the feeling you don't know how to take care of your man. The only thing your man needs from you is companionship: to be his best friend no matter what. If ever there is a problem, the worst thing to do is get clingy and demand that he perform in any way. What he needs is to know that you are still with him.
Cooking trumps everything else. Yes, it really does.
It seems to me that you two really love each other, so i do think and i do hope you will sort things out.
You need to sit down and calmly talk. Tell him how you feel and how much you care about him as i can feel you do.
He probably got too stressed and a lot of thing bottled up, and its probably not even your fault. He is just broken. And he needs you as much as you need him even tho he is not aware of that. You will overcome this, together.
think of the concrete ways to change your lifestyle so it brings less stress to you, and to him.
And as that person over there said, try couple counseling.
Good luck to both of you.
Wow Jewels Vern your really smart.