My wife of just over one year left me 9 weeks ago and I am a compleat mess because of it. We have been together for 11 years and I honestly thought we were soul mates, we had allways bickerd like most couples do and I never expected her to walk out on me as she never showed any signs that she was unhappy in our relationship. I believe she has had a break down due to loosing her mother from cancer 10 months ago she held her grief so well and then BANG!, basically we had a little argument the afternoon she walked out and hasn't returned since, I've wrote her a lovely letter saying how much I had learnt from our split and how things would be so much better if she would just give our marriage the chance I believe it deserved and also made a video with photos of our wedding day to a very lyrically fitting song basically telling her how much I love and miss her, shortly after she had read my letter she text me to say she had read it about 5 times the previous night and that the things I had said were right, we met up and she talked about moving back home she kissed me and told me she loved me, and then 30 minutes or less later she says she loves me and misses me, wants me to be apart of her life but doesn't know if she wants to be with me or not nor give me the wrong impression....huh!?!?!?... Obviously very confusing! . I've cried myself to sleep so many times over this as I really do love and miss her ever so much and just want her to come home, especially as it christmas eve tomorrow. I feel I have given her lots of space by not contacting her for days I've tried to make her think I'm not needy of her too, I've just run compleatly out of ideas on what's stopping her? She is confused herself but its doing my head in so much I have even contemplated suicide as I'm so depressed over this I just wish I knew what has made her leave me as that might give me something to work on or sattisfy my way of thinking to some degree. why is she confusing and hurting me so much if like she says " she loves me" and how can I win back her genuine affection?
Answers (2)
Not many answers bud. I've been thinking about it since first posted because it's so similar to two instances in my life. Fact was she [they] were'nt nearly as confused as I chose to believe. After 4 and 6yr relationships, quite simply it took them that long to really know ME. And I am confusing. I want to have my alone time, my hunting and fishing weekends and vacations. When I said I understood, I didn't. Love? I thought I knew. I sought out a heap of counseling, which helped. But first of course, there were psychics, Tarot card readers, Cajun fortune tellers, and even they were right. Ididn't know enough about myself to give anything real to a woman. Counseling pointed me the right way. Grief awareness groups made me grieve for myself and accept what was left as me. I'm not saying that all this is true in your dilemma. Just, if it doesn't get better, get help, professional. She gets to make up her own mind.
firstly relax... give your self more time and herself too..... listen may be there is something which is holding her back from coming back to you. may be some habit she doesnt like or may be after her mother she has some great responsibility. may be there is something which she cannot share. i believe the best is meet her up once again. but dont force her to do so. ask her if there is some problem or if there is somethng she wants changed. apologize if u have done something wrong. do not get angry and calmly ask her if thr is some other matter which she cannot share- a affair or some health prob or sum family matters of hr mothrs side. once u speak to her about the reason u can see the next step. if she is confused than calm her down and ask her to give a firm and frank reply. dont worry and dont be depressed . until u get a reply to the above be with your freinds and othr family members. be busy and meditate! and dont forget to keep calm and be polite!!! hope u both will be fine soon!!! :-)