My sex life is great, my semi longdistance relationship with my two year boyfriend is always hot and intimate. But recently we have been seeing less and less of each other; with me going off to college in a few months and then eventually out of country I have been too busy to see him so when I do, sex is usually a must. And even when I'm not feeling very into it, I grit my teeth and follow his lead; not wanting him to think I've lost interest. But these last few months have been too rough for me, it's like, once the clothes come off he just does and says whatever he wants. And even my constant "no, no, no" have been ignored. When I try to talk to him about it he just makes sly comments about how much I liked it, and how well he preformed; while I can't deny it was wonderful and knee shattering sex, that isn't the problem. And there is also the problem with his excessive "dirty talk" which consists of everything from him calling me a 'dirty bitch' to telling me to 'take all of his cock' and telling me I am a 'nasty slut'...while I know I shouldn't get offended, I do. He hasn't done this in the whole two years we've been together, till recently, is it the lack of attention I'm giving him? Or is it something else? What do I do? How do I get it through his thick skull that I'm not looking for passionate love-making, but maybe something that doesn't make me feel like some prostuitue?
Responses (6)
well a nice long talk is all you need maybe he thinks that every time you come to him all you want is sex why not talk to him tell him that all you want is some quality time with him and when you mean quality time its not sex but being together going out telling what happen with each other when you two are far away from each other. Tell him how much you love him and how much he means to you go have a game with him, sometimes its hard when the relationships revolves around sex maybe talk to him find other activity which you can do and spend that time together. And dont let him make you feel like a prostitute each and every woman deserves respect
he's either lost his respect for you and just wants the sex. or he's just kinky and doesn't really mean what he calls you. i think it's because he's lost his respect for you. a guy who really loves his woman would not call her a "dirty bitch" or "slut" and would respect you when you say "no" intead of saying "you know you liked it". i think it's time to move on because this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.
it's not a bad thing that your offended by the way he treats you.
fondling and oral sex are also a form physical intimacy. if he doesn't learn respect or boundaries within the next few visits i would still say to move on.
Totally agree.
I think it's a complete lack of respect, maybe instead of saying 'sex is a must' every time you see each other, you should try something that is also intimate but doesn't consist of physical intimacy(sex, fondling, oral, etc.). I think some boundaries need to be set especially if you say no and it goes ignored--that right there, is very disrespectful. Either sit him down and talk about it and force an answer out of him, don't let him dodge the question with sly remarks, or move on. Respect and trust are the base of a relationship, if you don't have that I don't think you have a very good relationship.
I also agree with sc89 about you being offended by it, I would be very offended if my boyfriend made any similar insults. You're quite a trooper for putting up with it for a month let alone for a couple of months.