I have been with my partner for about a year now and I can't show or find any emotions. I do love him, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's just my head playing games with me. I have always struggled with anxiety and recently it's starting to effect me more than ever. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the past, however every time I try to talk to my partner he doesn't show any interest in listening to me. There is a lot of trust issues between us, even though I have never done anything to betray his trust. I feel like there is nothing there on the outside or the inside, but it's something I can't exspain I want to stay with him for the rest of my life. In my past relationship I had a lot of trust issues my self instead of the other way round, but now it is the opposite way round. Is it because of anxiety or depression? Is it because I have betrayed and been cheated on in the past? Or is it something way of this line? Please can I have some advice. Thank you
Responses (2)
Ok, so you don't know how to act and he doesn't trust you. You both should dump each other.
The first line of defense against depression and anxiety is B vitamins. Get nutritional yeast powder and/or B-100 pills. Vitamin B2 is a water soluble dye that turns urine bright yellow. When the color fades, it's time for another dose. Read some books about nutrition so you know how to eat right.
Love is not an emotion. IMO love is when you are aware of a need and you take care of it. Everybody else seems to insist that it has to involve getting stupid. So that is your choice: get stupid or take care of needs.
If you want to make a relationship, you have to do some relating, and that takes two people. A relationship by yourself is like one hand clapping. All relationships begin by talking. I mean you and he talking together, not you talking to strangers on the internet. Warning: a lot of people can not stand talking about a relationship. They prefer to be stupid. Again,that is a choice you have to make, to continue with such a person or find another who wants to take care of needs.
Third, you have to know what needs are. There are five:
1. Air
2. Water
3. Food
4. Shelter/clothing
5. Companionship (talking)
Throughout history, men have traditionally brought food to their women and the women have cooked it. Modern women don't like that idea, and that is why modern women can't stay married.
Bottom line: you need to learn a few things so you don't have to invent everything you do.
I admit, I didn't read everything the other poster said, he lost me at dump each other. I'm like you. I have a really hard time trusting ANYONE so I have a hard time showing emotion. That is just who I am. Luckily, my husband has always been understanding. For someone like you and me, when we've been so badly betrayed and broken, it might be something that we never get back. I've been in therapy for it and I've gotten better. It has nothing to do with your partner and everything to do with you. You have to be confident enough in yourself first. There are so many Podcasts or online sites or books for you. You'll find that when you're more confident in the relationship, you'll be more affectionate. Force yourself to put your hand on his arm when you're just sitting next to him in the car or on the couch once in a while and next thing you know, it will become more natural for you. You're afraid that being affectionate means you're vulnerable and open to being hurt. But truthfully, being hurt isn't the worst thing in the world. Once I started to understand that I started to get better. Learn to value yourself more, that helped me too. This is tied to the confidence. You might think you're confident, I thought I was, but as I started learning - if I was - I would/could be more affectionate. Once I had kids, I started to understand these things better. You will too. Good luck to you!