Why can't I love anyone else?

Question

Why can't I love anyone else?

When I was young use to be incredibly emotionally dependent on some body else to feel happy, I was always in and out of relationships and they all ended in heartache, I felt puppy love but the novelty always rubbed off until I met someone at the age of 17, he was 23 and I was absolutely head over heels inlove, it lasted about a year and he was my best friend, we never had a fight or disagreement, he seemingly loved everything about me and I loved everything about him, he had a baby before we were together and our relationship ended when the mother of his child moved into state and he had to move to stay connected to his baby, I told him I completely understood and even though it broke my heart it meant more to me for him to be happy, I was trying to come to terms with the situation and move on when a short period after (I don't remember how long but it was a week or two) I found out he was in a relationship with a new girl which caused a falling out in our friendship so we stopped communicating. I was in two relationships after that but I never felt anything more for them then friendship, at the beginning I told them both I didn't want to be in a relationship with them but I was pressured into both relationships I guess due to my low self esteem I didn't know how to say just say no because I didn't want to hurt their feelings, after my last relationship ended I decided not to settle for anyone or commit until I learned how to be emotionally independent, it's now been 5 years since my last relationship and although I've had absolutely gorgeous guys try to peruse me in this time and I am so happy and confident with myself I just feel numb when it comes to boys and it makes me feel really sad, I'm now 25 and once in a blue moon he still pops into my head and I'll look at his facebook page, shortly after my last relationship I sent him a message asking to be friends and it went well for a week until he asked me to come over to his house and specified that I couldn't stay the night because he had to be up early for work, I took this as a "booty call with no strings" proposition and it made me realise if I saw him the feelings would still be there and I would get hurt and I'm not stupid enough to do that to myself so I decided to stop talking to him, I've really tried to move on but 8 years later and I still feel that pull toward him, will I ever be able to move on and be normal? It feels like I'll never care about anyone again, I really miss having that special thing with someone, I'm so sick of it and at this point I want help :(

Answer

Emotional dependence is not love. What you have is lack of upbringing: you have not been taught how to act in the real world. I had the same problem when I was young and I watched movies to learn how to pretend to be normal. But I am male, and movies do not present normal females. They only present emotionally dependent women with poor upbringing. 

Take acting classes. 

BTW: Love is when you are aware of a need and you take care of it. For example if you love your car you wash it and change the oil and stuff, and the result is your car tells people that you take care of responsibilities. A person's needs are air, water, food, clothing/shelter, and companionship. Companionship means talking, not making babies.

Answer

I understand the feeling you are going through. I too had a man who I loved to no end, but he cheated on me with another women. I moved away after that but the who thing still haunted me for a long time. Finally, I took my mind off of men and started going to the gym and going to school so I felt good about myself. Once I started to pay attention to myself the rest fell into place. I met a wonderful man, who treats me better than I could have imagined. There is not a doubt in my mind that he's the one. I still think about my ex from time to time, but now I just think about the good times but glad and relieved I've moved on in my life. Hope this helps!

Answer

I know this answer is a little late, but you can still love. I know how it feels. It feels like you won't meet anyone as amazing ever again and that you'll never be able to love again. Trust me, it's not true. You can still love.  I was surprised when the love of my life rejected me, yet I fell in love again. It was stronger, she was better looking, inside and out, and she was just amazing.  Love is strange, but believe me, you'll meet somebody amazing again. I know it's hard to imagine but it will happen. 

Don't worry, you'll find your other half. Meet new people, you'll be young for along time and that's when love is at its best.

Answer

We all have a deep-rooted need to love and to be loved. We yearn for a mate who will love us. We also want the affection of our parents, our children, our siblings, and our friends.  We may see others who find love, whereas we do not. From infancy we hear romantic tales of beautiful people who fall in love and live happily ever after. Singers croon about love; poets extol it. However, a researcher on the subject wrote: &ldquo;There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet, which fails so regularly, as love.&rdquo; Indeed, it is often our closest relationships that are the most troubling&mdash;bringing us anguish instead of lasting joy.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8: explains true love   &ldquo;Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.&rdquo; It seems you story is based on pains from childhood.  
You may need to step back and protect your self from unhealthy relationships and realize no matter what your past has caused you are valued in the God's eyes.  That's how I healed myself and now have a secure and confident view of myself because I am sure of God's love. I accepted a bible study and gain accurate knowledge on what the bible really teach for me to get to know the truth and draw close to God.
For more information on this subject and others, please go to jw.org "Online Library."  Also for free downloads, publications or read online.

Why can't I love anyone else?

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