When I was little I was so care free and had never experienced a panic attack before. I would spend the night at my best friend Megan's house all the time. I was practically never home. It all started when I was 7 years old and I went to the fireworks with megan and I came home to my parent's car gone. I experienced my first ever panic attack and I've gotten them ever since. I never spent the night at a friends house again after that and wouldn't even want friends to stay at my house. There was something very wrong with me. When I was around 12 years old I would always ask my friends/family "am I dreaming?" I always felt so weird and felt like I was in a dream. Every night I would try to go to sleep before my parents because I didn't want to feel like something was going to happen to them in their sleep and I would always tell them to keep their tv on so I could hear something coming from their room. I am 17 years old now and I think I get them every worse now. When I have a panic attack, I experience very weird in-depth thoughts that I can't even explain. I get bad thoughts that someone I care about is going to die or even I am doing to die. When I experience a panic attack my heart starts beating super fast and I feel like I'm going to throw up or die. My mom always thought it was something I would grow out of but I just recently told her it's been happening a lot again lately. She made a doctors appointment and my doctor wants to prescribe me to Zoloft or Xanax. My mom also made me an appointment to talk to a counselor for tomorrow. I don't want to start taking medication because the thought of chemicals going into my brain just really freaks me out :( I hope somebody can relate to this and help me out.. Please and thank you