*** Coping With the Pressure to Conform Closely related to association is peer pressure. Day after day, the pressure to conform attacks our children’s defenses. Since youths usually seek the approval of those in their own age-group, peer pressure can squeeze them into the mold that the world views as desirable.—Proverbs 29:25.
The Bible reminds us that “the world is passing away and so is its desire.” (1 John 2:17) Thus, parents should not allow their children to be overly influenced by the world’s views. How can they help their children to think in a Christian way?
“My daughter always wanted to wear what other young ones were wearing,” said Richard. “So we patiently reasoned with her on the merits and demerits of each request. Even with those fashions we judged unobjectionable, we followed the counsel we heard some years ago, ‘It is a wise person who is not the first to adopt a new fashion nor the last to leave it.’”
A mother named Pauline counteracted peer pressure in another way. She recalled: “I took an interest in my children’s interests and regularly went to their room to talk to them. These long conversations enabled me to shape their ideas and help them to consider other ways of looking at matters.”
Peer pressure will not go away, so parents will likely face a constant struggle to ‘overturn worldly reasonings’ and help their children to bring their thoughts ‘into captivity, in obedience to the Christ.’ (2 Corinthians 10:5) But by ‘persevering in prayer,’ both parents and children will be strengthened to complete this vital task.—Romans 12:12; Psalm 65:2.
***How to Beat a Bully—Without Using Your Fists Some bullies want to provoke you just to see how you’ll react. But the Bible gives this wise advice: “Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended.” (Ecclesiastes 7:9) The fact is, ‘returning evil for evil’ could add fuel to the fire and lead to further problems. (Romans 12:17) How, then, can you beat a bully without using your fists?
Take a lighthearted approach. If a taunt is simply an attempt at humor, try to laugh it off instead of getting offended. “Sometimes it’s just a matter of not taking aggressive statements so seriously,” says a boy named Eliu. If a bully sees that his words have little effect, he may stop the harassment.
Use mildness. The Bible says: “An answer, when mild, turns away rage.” (Proverbs 15:1) A kind reply is what the bully least expects, and it can defuse a tense situation. True, keeping coolheaded when under attack takes self-control. But it’s always the better course. Proverbs 29:11 says: “All his spirit is what a stupid one lets out, but he that is wise keeps it calm to the last.” Mildness is a sign of strength. The mild person isn’t easily thrown off balance, while the bully is often insecure, frustrated, or even desperate. For good reason, the Bible states: “He that is slow to anger is better than a mighty man.”—Proverbs 16:32.
Protect yourself. If a situation seems out of control, you may need to find an ‘escape route.’ Proverbs 17:14 says: “Before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave.” So if violence appears imminent, walk or run away. If escape is impossible, you may need to ward off violence the best way you can.
Report it. Your parents have a right to know about what’s happening. They can also give you practical advice. For example, they might suggest that you speak to a school official, such as a guidance counselor, about the matter. Be assured that parents and school officials can handle the matter discreetly, so as not to get you into further trouble.
The bottom line? A bully can’t win if you refuse to play his game. So don’t get sucked into the flames of his anger. Instead, take control of the situation by employing the foregoing suggestions.
*** “Cyberbullying” There are other ways communication technology has been exploited. Some youths have engaged in “cyberbullying”—relentless online teasing, ostracizing, harassing, or threatening. Web sites have been set up purely to humiliate someone, while e-mail, chat rooms, and the like have become conduits for slander. The director of an online safety group believes that up to 80 percent of children between the ages of 10 and 14 have been directly or indirectly affected by cyberbullying.
