What should I do about the whole situtaion?

Question

Have you ever looked into another woman's eyes and your heart began to race? Well that's what it was like for me. 

First off I never intended to like girls. I wasn't raised that way but some things changed down the line. 

I met this woman. She changed me just staring at me a few times. Like it's a stare you can't describe. You just feel your heart race and you sweat a little. So at first I didn't know how to approach her. But I finally did, through my sister. We began to talk a lot on the phone and I began to get closer and that made me catch the feelings for her that I still have right today. She's probably the first person I have ever taken seriously. I plan on telling her how I feel hoping she'll understand. I know there's not much she can do because she's married but she can at least learn from her mistakes of leading me on. 

There will be those days where she will wink and touch me and smile or even interupt whoever she's talking to say hey to me. Then other days she'll walk right past me then when I show up at her house be all over me. I just don't get it. I hate myself more and more everyday because of the fact that I can't have her. I feel like she's did this to hurt me on purpose. She's a lot older than me and should know better but still. I can't even count how many times I have came home crying or upset because of the way she acts. She doesn't realize but I want to tell her so badly. She knows I have 'something' to talk to her about but I bet she doesn't have a clue what it is. Suicide has been on my mind quite a while lately but I never attempt it. I just take long hot showers and cry it and ask god why. I've thought about cutting myself but I really don't want to cause harm to my body. 

What should I do? How do I tell her how I feel? I'm scared she'll tell other people when she's the bad person... If I could go back in time, I'd just ignore her staring as I do when other people stare at me.

Answer

Well tell her how you feel and if you really are nervous then do it and stop to see what her reaction is. you have to accept that shes like that cause shes an girl but, dont not hurt or kill urself and if shes married you have to deal with it.

Answer

I don't believe she was trying to hurt you. she was probably messing around, like most girl friends do, but since you like her in such a manner you probably took her "signs a wrong way. If you guys are close you should feel comfortable telling each other your problems. if she is a true friend she will understand. Tell her your feelings and just get it out of the way. it will eat you up until you are swallowed whole, so why not just get it over with. she may not even take it so hard. she sounds like a fun, open-minded person. Best of luck!

Answer

Wow just wow! I don&rsquo;t know if your still going through this and I didn&rsquo;t even notice how old this question is but I read it and I have to respond because your situation is exactly like mine. I have been going through this for 3 years almost. The only exception is that I also am married and with kids. We have become best friends and after two years I did decide to tell her everything I told her every single little thing of how I am feeling. She understood she was very understanding and forgiving of everything. We are still best friends to this day sometimes I still think that she has a thing for me, gaydar and all that sort of thing kicks in from time to time. I even almost asked her exactly how she felt about me but she refused to answer. Which makes me wonder why won&rsquo;t you just answer if she does not have feelings release me and if she does please just come clean so at least I know I am not the only one.  My best advice is in a very gentle way come clean. Even if you have to sit down and write out exactly what you have to say and then call her up and read exactly what you wrote so that you won&rsquo;t stutter get too nervous and or forget what you wanna say. I did it in a text message I wish I would&rsquo;ve done it in person but that is a really hard thing to do . Best wishes and all my love !!!

What should I do about the whole situtaion?

Responses (3)