Iv a 4 month old daughter. And I love her dearly. I spend everyday with her and only want what's best for her in every way. But Iv an issue with her mother. We clash a lot about her well being and how she should be raised. We are not together but we are friends for the most part and do everything possible for our daughter together. Almost everything. Her mother has never really gotten along with her family. She's had issues with her mother for years and doesn't seem too close to her father. Or any of her family until our daughter was born. All of a sudden everyone in her family wants her to come around and spend time with family which I'm all for. Thing is..I'm not welcomed. They don't speak to me unless I go out of my way to speak which Iv given up on because I see it as disrespectful. Her brother is a racist. Funny because he has a biracial child himself that he doesn't claim and apparently has called my daughter names and we found out about it recently. Anyways her family wants her to come to family functions all the time but I'm not invited. She will tell me hey my dad wants us to come over and visit for memorials day or for Easter. I'm like ok. But I'm not invited. Nobody comes here to see my daughter because I'm here but she has to take my kid to them in order for her to see them. I think it's wrong. Of I'm not welcomed around your family then why should my daughter be around them? They don't know me at all And somehow it's my fault. That's her excuse as to why they don't want me around or act weird around me. I'm not from here so I'm isolated in a place that sometimes scares me. But I'm here for my kid. Her mom is white and I'm biracial. I know it's a race thing. Her aunt calls people that aren't white colored. And yet she sees nothing wrong with it. Before she had our daughter or before she got pregnant. She wanted nothing to do with her family. Now it's like she is blinded by how they are towards me. Denial maybe? I don't know but I'm not happy about it. Her father wants her and my daughter to go spend time with them on the 4th of July. I'm telling her that should be my time/our time with our daughter. Why can't they come see her? Its like Iv no say so over anything she does with my kid I helped bring into this world until she needs some money. I grew up around racism. I don't want my daughter brought up that way. I seriously believe if it was up to them I'd be better off not even existing in her life. Am I wrong or over thinking this? I'm away from all of my family so Iv no support system here and I feel like they know this and it's being taken advantage of.
Responses (2)
I really don't know how to answer this, but since you and your daughters mother are no longer together then you shouldn't worry about going around her family it would be different if y'all were together. I don't know the situation between her and her family but it could be since she's had her own child she has grown up and she wants her daughter to be around her family, as for them being racist that is not good I'm sure the mother will stop them if it goes too far. Since y'all are no longer together y'all need to sit down agree on what days are best for the both of you for visitation.
Just wondering if y'all spend that much time together and still go places together why don't y'all try and work the relationship out??
Also if you have any more ?'s or if you just need someone to talk too
Thank you... We were never together. We were and always have been friends. We just so happened to both be vulnerable and had one two many drinks and here we are. We've known one another for over 8 years. I'm not necessarily concerned about them not wanting me around but more so having my daughter in that sort of enviorment. Because I feel like if I'm not good enough to be around then why should my child? Thanks for the advise and honestly I could use the lending ear. This has been a hard situation for me.