Hi.. Me (20, student) and my boyfriend (26) are going out for almost 8 months now. I love him and he loves me, we hang-out a lot and do you know normal stuff, etc... First 2 months of our relationship started out okay, the rest hmm not so great... Honestly, I dunno how to tell you guys the whole detail of our relationship this past few months. All i can say is, it was full of misunderstandings. He was always angry, like always!. Small quarrel he always turns it into a fight. It's scares me to make a mistake in front of him. I know It's my fault sometimes why he gets angry (because of me doing stupid and irresponsible things) but when he does, he says stupid and hurtful things even his jokes. (ex: "Can you turn on the fan or I will hit you in the face"). We both know it's just a joke, but it still hurts...Sometimes i think he's always controlling me. He doesn't want me to talk to other guys, He said it okay for me to have fun, go out with my friends but later on he gets jealous and insecure. I dont know whats his problem honestly.. It sucks big time and I feel Numb. You see, He doesnt have a job. He's in a financial crisis right now. So he burrows money from me and it's always my treat. It's okay though honest because I understand his situation right, but sometimes I think he's taking advantage of it, me giving him money to pay his rent (just one time) or when he needs it.. I told my aunt and my other aunt about what is happening between me and my boyfriend. They said Im stupid, I should break up with him and he's not worth it there are a lot of guys out there dying to be my boyfriend.. I know what's happening to us is not right anymore but i love him.. Last month, I told him I had enough and he said I should give him a chance to make things right. I gave him a chance and things changed since then. Im still worried though. There's something bothering me and it's hard to explain what is it. I dont know if I still love him or what.... My aunt told my mom and my family about our relationship and they're not happy about it.. Should I end it? But thinking about his situation right now, I dont know if its the right time to leave him... should i end it or try to make it work?
Responses (6)
*** Is It Love or Is It Infatuation?
Try to guess the missing word in the statements quoted below. Fill in the blanks with either the word love or the word infatuation.
1. “․․․․․ is blind and it likes to stay that way. It doesn’t like to look at reality.”—
2. “If I have to change my personality when I’m around a girl or boy I’m attracted to, that’s ․․․․․.”—
3. “Something may annoy you about the person. But if it’s ․․․․․, you still want to be with the person and work through the problem.”—.
4. “With ․․․․․, the only things you let yourself consider are the things you have in common.”—
5. “When it’s ․․․․․, you don’t try to hide who you are.”—
6. “․․․․․ is a selfish form of getting what you want—perhaps just to say you have a boyfriend.”—
7. “․․․․․ recognizes the faults and quirks and yet can still live with those things.”—
8. “When it’s ․․․․․, you can’t define why you feel attracted—you just are.”—
9. “With ․․․․․, the other person can do no wrong.”—
10. “When it’s ․․․․․, you don’t notice other members of the opposite sex the way you used to, because you feel a sense of loyalty.”—
Answers: Infatuation: 1, 2, 4, 6, 8, 9.
Love: 3, 5, 7, 10.
Trust your instinct..if you feel something is not right - SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT!
Take care of yourself - do not loose your self-respect over this guy. Personally I would get out but if you can't get yourself to do it pull back and watch. I am you will find the answer that your gut has been trying to point you to.
My dear you are still young look at it this way if he should give you a scar now that would remain on you for life time what will you do and he doesn't end up with you in marriage. Come is it when you die in his hands you'll learn your lesson? If he doesn't have money to pay his rent must you be the one to pay for him? You are just making him lazy.
well what he does to you before for me is already a verbal abuse and hope that this second chance that you give him will not be like before. If you feel fear or doubt about what you did can't blame you might just get trauma about what he did before but if you think that its more than fear and you cant trust him then better end the relationship because he just might abuse you again but hope that will not happen. just be true to you other than that don't feel alone you have your family just in case