I can talk fine when i'm in groups but once i'm alone 1 on 1 with someone i just draw a blank on things to talk about. Really my main problem is that i struggle to come up with topics were both interested in.
Responses (1)
One of the most difficult things to do or learn to do is active listening. Active listenening usually begins with having sympathy for another person enough to learn about them. When a person doesn't have this in practice it can mean one of several things: potentially self-respect is in short supply (cannot have sympathy because can't sympathize with self), another possibility is egotism (value self so much noone else is worth effort), one other potentiality is high anxiety (inability to recall facts about a person).
All of these are easy to overcome with patience and practice in terms of learning to communicate (if it's anxiety, ego, lack of esteem - these don't necessarily go away, there are just techniques which can create a work-around).
The best thing to do is to talk about the other person. If you don't know them, start to ask about them - if they talk about you, do your very best to be direct, honest, and a story-teller. Don't marginalize or embellish your life - but if you went to the barber or the store, discuss what you saw, what you thought of, people you interacted with (generally speaking these should be positive as well).
As far as common topics go: the weather (uggh - hope it's unique but always a standby), animals or pets, local events, community service work, new plans or changes you've already integrated (yoga, meditation, athletics, reading, adjustments to improve work, and the ilk).
I hope that helps :)