I asked this guy out to a school dance. On the day of, he called me sounding incredibly upset. He couldn't go. We decided to still go out for dinner to make up for it. We both had a really nice time. Neither of us had dated before, but it just seemed to come naturally. We went on a couple more dates and we were each other's first kiss. Then school started and we became incredibly busy. He became distant, tired, and didn't seem at all like his normal self. We stopped texting as much. Still, we enjoyed each other's company at school. Recently, I asked him if he would like to do something for Valentine's Day. After he finally thought he had time, we were texting to make plans but he stopped replying to my texts and we never ended up doing anything. We had been so distant for awhile that I thought that might have been the end, like maybe he finally decided to just walk away from it. However, later at school, he was very happy to see me, but then he remembered he didn't reply to my texts and said that he was really, really sorry, he thought he had time for a relationship, but work got in the way. He sounded the same way he did when he called me about the dance. The next day he was acting normally. I was still pretty upset and confused about what had happened. I think he noticed and he sat down next to me, but didn't bring it up and instead just began a normal conversation with me, but trying to cheer me up and make me smile. My question is, was I broken up with? He was extremely nice to me about everything but never actually said whether the relationship was on or off and he hasn't said anything that leads me to believe that we aren't still on good terms. Was he just letting me know he was too busy? Do I ask him about it and how do I ask him without making the situation worse or putting pressure on him? I really want to be with him, I feel like I would be missing out on so much by letting him go but I know that the timing is just awful for us. Is it worth it or even fair to the two of us to wait, or should I just let it go?
Responses (2)
You can't break up if there was nothing to break up.
Did he ever ask you to be his girlfriend? Did the two of you talk about being in a relationship and not dating others? My guess is that neither of those happened. I think it was just assumed something was happening and you and that it was taken for granted. When he said "relationship" that didn't necessarily mean bf/gf. It could have meant friends or it could have meant a dating couple with no strings attached and the ability to date others.
That assumption is displayed by you saying if you "let him go" because you don't have him and never officially did.
So, no I don't think you were broken up with because there was nothing to break up. He gave every indication it wasn't going to work when he backed out of the dance but was able to go to dinner.
He likes you as a friend and that is all. Tell him to get in touch if he wants to catch a movie or have dinner then move on.
We were together as boyfriend and girlfriend, if that changes anything? When he spoke with me he said that he didn't have the time to maintain a serious relationship.