So the thing is, we got together last Halloween but then broke up shortly after new years. Then a horrible n heartbreaking few months later, we get back in touch n we are together again. But the last few months really tore me apart n i just dont want to be vulnerable with him anymore. He was my first everything n i really gave him my heart at the beginning bc i never thought he could hurt me..but he did, n now i know just how capable he is of hurting me n it just makes me distance myself from him. I dont txt or call him first...he always has to initiate it. I just feel safer that way bc of the rough breakup we had where i was waayy too emotionally invested in him n when he stopped reaching out to me i freaked out n tried everything to make it better. It just ended up going downhill. THIS time around, i want to put less n less emotion into it so that in the end i dont get my feelings hurt like i did before. He always says something like, why dont u ever txt or call me?? He doesnt get mad, but we joke about it. I want to be with him! But i just dont want to get too close to him where he can hurt me. My thinking is that the less emotion i put in our relationship, the easier it is to walk away...bc i just dont expect anything anymore....it wont be a surprise if he just out of nowhere decided to leave. I would be prepared for it i guess.
Do i need to get help? Is this normal feelings?