Back in middle school 8th grade I dated this girl (N). We were from different schools. We met during a school gathering event. She became my first real girlfriend. I took a lot of interest in her. We didn't see each other as much, but when we did , we always had a great time. We would usually text. We dated for a year and so. The farthest we have gotten is kissing. It was organic. We eventually broke up because we were kids and we had many of childish fights. We had left it on good terms. And we would still hangout at times, flirt, kiss and text. She even told me one time that she would let me be her first (which doesn't matter). I didn't see her that way. For some reason, I started dating this girl(k)my sophomore year. After that, me and N started to become distance which I understand, but when me and K would break up I would always see N and just hangout and kiss. And for some reason, I would always get back together with K. The time pasted and me and N got more distance, but when the holidays came or our birthdays we would text each other greeting and catch up a little bit. After, N went off to another college that is about 5 hours away. Time went by that me and N didn't even talk at all. I wanted to talk to her but I felt bad too because I wasn't doing right. I didn't want N to think that I was playing with her. Sooner or later I got K pregnant and I manned up and now live together with out 4 month boy. Now my problem is this... I want to be with N more than ever now. It's been about 2 years since we last talked. After all of this I've never stop to think about her. I really like her to spend the rest of my life N. Every Time I was with her it felt good. I felt that I can finally rest. I just don't know what to do. I don't even know if N feels the same way anymore. I don't know my chances of being with N. I don't want my child to grow up with 2 different homes. But I feel that this is silently killing me inside. I just want to be happy. I want a chance with N to see if it can work out now that we are adults. People and K are expecting a wedding, but I don't even want to get married. So, I'm asking for advice on what to do and if I do something about it, when would it be the best time?