I am 17 and live with my mom and step-dad. My step-dad is bipolar and VERY controlling. I have had a steady, part-time job for over a year. I am in NHS, band, FFA, and make very good grades. Every time I am home I am, constantly in trouble because I "didn't do the dishes" or that I "am never home and need to take care of my home responsibilities" even though my step-dad is the one who forced me to get a job in the first place. My step-dad often yells and honestly does things just to be mean, he says that's how he was raised and so that's how he treats us. I am not lazy and am a very kind person, I am just fed up with being treated like a dog. My step-dad has a 23 year old son, however he never knew he existed until he was 12. This is when his son came to live with him. He left his own father's home at 15, only 3 years after first meeting him, because of the way my step-dad treated him. I have everything planned out as to rent, bills, school, and my future. I would be moving in with my boyfriend who also has a steady job and is currently enrolled in college. We have been dating for over a year and me leaving home is not because I'm "in love" or "want to always be by his side". I would be living with him because his parents have a house that they let him live in and we wouldn't have to pay rent, just bills. We also work at the same place and it would be convenient. However I am not unrealistic about it. I know it will be hard but I've had time to figure stuff out and my family says they completely understand, they do not like my step-dad either, and will support and help me. I am tired of being treated this way and just need some advice, I only have 1 more year of high school and would be attending the same school I always have and would continue to work as I have since sophomore year. I will turn 18 this December. Please help!
Responses (2)
Damn girl, this is an awful situation. Its hard to judge just based on your story. I am too 17 years old, but will be turning 18 in 30days.One year ago, i too wanted to go far away and never hear about my family. I felt numb and i was trying to convince myself that i dont care about my family. My mother stoped talking with me and taking care of me, my brother was very abusive and violent with me. I always cared about him eventhough he had his mood swings (one minute happy and telling jokes, another he was threating to kill us because the plate wasnt clean enough). So i was kind off living in a fear, my dad wouldnt believe me and he was like: oh women, its all your fault.. if you didnt say that and did that.. and so on. practically he was implying that someone has a right to threat killing me if he's mad enough? Then i had to go on court and was accused of beeing a bad daughter and violent myself.
But then it all got better. We divided our house on half, and know am living only with my mother. I cant tell you what a relief is that. I am no longer in fear. Now i can talk normaly and noone will beat me up or mentally abuse me.
Soooo.. my suggestion? Dont rush too much. First of all think about it. Is it really so bad you couldnt stand one more minute in your house? I dont really know where are you from (age restriction). Here where i live, we step in full age at 18. I recomend you to wait just a little bit. Till december. If you could stand your stepfather for so long, i think you're strong enough to wait till december. Cause you know, he's capable of reporting your boyfriend of a kidnap or something worse. You can never be sure.. People when angry are capable of anything. But offcourse in the end its your decision.
Thank you for responding:) just to inform you a little better is legal to leave at 17 where I live. Your parents are still responisible for any of your bills but the police can not take you home and it can not be considering kidnapping and is not considered as a runaway. It is legal and you can choose to get emancipated, that's where you are considered a responsible adult. I would never leave if the cops were gonna come and get me just 2 hours later...hopes this helps!