I am a 22-year-old currently living on my own. However, I seem to butt heads a lot with my mother whenever I'm visiting home. In one particular instance, I needed to use the computer to submit an assignment for school. My mother came to talk to me and I tried to tell her that I was extremely tense and couldnt deal with talking to her at the moment. She accused me of being rude. Although I admit I wasn't too nice (seeing as I was stressed out), I told her had tried to say it as nicely as possible (considering the amount of pressure I was feeling). She told me "it wasn't nice enough". We argued are she demanded an apology from me otherwise she would unhook the internet (thus I would not be able to submit my assignment). Arguments like this have been happening for as long as I can remember. If I upset her (whether my intention or not) she retailiates by giving me an ultimatum: apologize or lose a priviledge - which usually tends to be something I need, such as the car to get to work or the computer for school work. I can understand mothers doing this to their little kids, but am I not right in thinking that she's taking this too far? I feel like she's trying to control me; if something isnt good enough for her, this is how she reacts. Arent I old enough to know when and how to apologize?? If your co-worker pissed you off at work, would you refuse to collaborate on a project with them? Would you refuse to make a call for your boss because he was grumpy with you??? People get stressed out and aren't always the nicest - does that give my mother a right to punish me for it because she's my MOTHER???
Did I forget to mention that I moved out over a year ago? There's definitely been space between us; I don't visit home that often either. The problem seems to be that she can still be just as bad as when I was a teenager still living at home! I know this is part of her personality, but how do I explain and get her to understand that her whole 'approach' just isn't gonna work anymore....well, come to think of it that approach never worked when I was a teen either...