can someone intellectual help me understand this? when socialising told not to speak. told speach immature. told to listen. not talk. listened. listened 7 years. didnt speak. got good at echoing general meaning. summing up faster what he said. no speaking but ears open. when a thought i cud add to conversation come i listened harder and ignored it. and ignored it and focused on his words. my thought pattern vanished entirely. no thought. quiet. this is abusive person. then my inner thought got loud i thought it was someone else. it was me. took a while to realise. self soothing. my brain was my friend. then i realised it was my voice. what happened???? what happened to my brain? i was silenced. then my brain was silent. no thoughts ever. then too many. like my thought was too loud. :S thanks
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