So I have a girlfriend and we both love each other very much, who we've been "dating" for about a year and I say it like that because her parents don't know about us but about a few months ago, her family converted into a different religion which has the strictest rules, even she at first didn't like it. But anyways, ive been trying to get her to tell her parents so we can finally be official in that way but she believes there's no hope because her church establishes rules like I have to be part of them and go through all their stuff in order to date her. And I keep telling her it's her life she can choose what she wants since she's almost 18 but I think she's just afraid of her parents might do or say if she speaks up. I really want to be with her but she just won't listen to me and thinks there's no other choice even after I offered to give converting a shot, so I'm not sure what to do or say to make her realize she has a choice.
Religion getting in the way of relationship?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by spqrolax
- Topics:
- love, religion, girlfriend, year, dating, parent, relationship, years, parents, relationships
Responses (5)
I dont care how much you think you love her you never ever give up a religion or take on a new one for the sake of dating. You break up and you're stuck in a religion. You deal with religious beliefs in a personal way between you and God and how it helps your soul.
I'd advise you to back off let her do her honor her mother and father duty and deal with her soul and her religion. You should not be encouraging her to go against her parents or religion. That's morally and ethically inappropriate. Tell her to get in touch with you when she turns 18.
This is not a situation you should be involved in. She's not legally able to go against her parents while a minor and encouraging her to do it is very immature.
FACT OF LIFE: When you get emotionally involved before you’re ready for a serious relationship, you can lose a good friendship.
The Bible says: “Sensible people will see trouble coming and avoid it, but an unthinking person will walk right into it and regret it later.”—Proverbs 22:3,
“Sometimes I’ve had to pull myself back. Boys can be great friends, but I didn’t want to mess up the friendship by being more than that.”—Laura.
The Bible says: “Smart people watch their step.”—Proverbs 14:15
The bottom line: Socializing with members of the opposite sex isn’t wrong in itself. But if you’re not ready for a serious relationship that could lead to marriage, you need to set boundaries. Even if you start out as just friends, it’s easy for feelings to change if you spend a lot of time together. It’s not impossible to be just friends, but it takes maturity and discernment
These are Christian values when having relationship with the opposite sex. Your friend may be well aware of theses values and know it is a protection for her emotionally, obedience to God and her parents. You should respect her feelings and try to apply these values to yourself and any other relationship with the opposite sex.
For more information on this subject and others, please go to jw.org "Online Library." Also for free downloads, publications or read online.
It's selfish and unloving to ask someone to be disobedient to their God and their parents. There are many reasons why its wrong to even be thinking about dating, especially one from a different faith. Let's look at a few important reasons :
1) No one not even our parents should even suggest that we should forsake our relationship with our Heavenly Father for anyone or anything,it's unthinkable that you will even ask her to disregard her belief. John 17:3 says, 'This means everlasting life, their coming to know you, the only true God, and the one whom you sent, Jesus Christ.' Can you give her life? No you cannot, in fact no one could but our Grand Creator, all the more reason why it's wrong to encourage her to be disobedient to her God, the one who is giving her the breath of life.
2) The bible tells us at Deuteronomy 7:3 that, You must not form any marriage alliance with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons. For they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods.' You notice God himself is saying it's wrong to marry or in your case date some one who does not share the same belief. It's a command from God to date or marry only those who worship him the same way. Also wanted to say you trying to convert to her belief to be with her will not work. Your motive to worshipping God should stem from your heart and not because of selfish reasons, because it will never work or be successful.
3) You guys are only teenagers, you are not ready for the dating thing. Dating comes with responsibility that leads to marriage. Are you guys ready for marriage? No. The bible tells us at 1 Corinthians 7:26, 'If anyone is pass the bloom of youth and wants to get marry, let him get marry.' Are you guys pass the bloom of youth? No. All the more reason why you should not be dating. Remember dating is with the intentions of getting marry to that person.
Please stay away from the young girl and if you really care about her you will encourage her to be obedient to her God and to her parents. Believe me in no time your feelings for her will disappear or grow dim. Love should be an unselfish feeling not one that is interested in his own desires but considers the feelings and welfare of the other wanting what's best for that person. The best thing for her right now is to remove yourself from her life and let her give her complete obedience to her God and parents, it will really demonstrate that you wants what's makes her happy and what's best for her. Hope you really do what's the right thing, and move on.
I'm sorry she chooses to judge others and insist others believe what she believes. That's extremely close minded and selfish. I would not want anything to do with anyone close minded and selfish. SHE WILL NOT CHANGE, so it's best you move on. NEVER let anyone TELL you what you have to do for THEM - especially when they refuse to listen to you!!