I have a friend, who, no matter your relationship (ie girlfriend, daughter, sister) will discover something that irritates you the most or that you fear and will do well on it until you break. Such as, finding out that his girl friend did not like to be called "uppity", so now he refers to her in that way every chance he gets. What is the psychology behind this behavior or where can I find answers, thank you!
Psychology behind someone who focuses on the negative?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by barbarac
- Topics:
- negative, sister, daughter, friend, behind, girlfriend, relationship, matter, friends, psychology, relationships
Details:
Answers (3)
This wouldn't exactly be psychological disorder, but more of a personality disorder; which can be explained through psychology. If your friend is under the age of 13, he is most likely hasn't gone though puberty, so it's natural to act the way he does. For most kids, their natural subconscious reaction is to harm what they love.
However, if he has gone through puberty, his mind has most likely has adapted to his method for 'picking up girls'. He see's himself as a man, who has to be dominant over his woman, in order to gain control of her.
This person will probably not admit it, but deep inside his self he is really uncertain, like a nervous child. You know like a child struck with fear and sadness, because something is simply too overwhelming,and it is unable to really understand what it is , but its there. This makes the child trigger a defense mechanism to solve the problem , and that is simply to identify the problem, give the monster in the closet a shape. And that shape can be alot. I wont be able to tell what this person you mention has made his "monster" without abit more info on how he usuallly acts, and some specific quotes from conversations. But at this point i believe he isnt seeking attention directly as other comments mentioned, but i believe he is simply putting you in a favourable position for his ego. When he calls her uppity, he can gain 2 potential things ..
1. A reaction, wich feeds his ego in several potential ways(discussions to prove his intellect. Making you angry so he can critizize you for being angry in a smart way, to make him look composed compared to you, so he can feed on feeling like he is better, and also the feling of looking on your negative reaction while feeling better than you, there are many more examples).
2.No particularly reaction.
He would think he simply has control, because he can say something annoying without reaction, he believes people wont take action because they look up to him(how is irrellevant to him, if its love, or power that makes him being obeyed). He simply likes to have authority, and make the world move.
These kind of persons will find all the negative info they can about you because their uncertainity makes them secure themselves from POTENTIAL threaths. If they feel threatened they will use this info, and if they dont see you as a potential threath they will simply use this info to try make you give them what you want when they want it.