They technically have got the money on my behalf as I have poor credit.
The problem is I am mid 30's and suffered from years of anxiety because of them. They've stunted my development and mad me a child man. I've overcome most of this, and most of the anxiety goes when I know, particularly my father has no control in my life. I justify it my head as, oh, well, it's my mortgage, i'm paying it. But part of me is just dreading having to pay him every month. And if I'm late he'll only be too eager to let it slide.
I'm so tired of being a child, their parenting was so neglectful and abusive it gave me serious depression and I almost died. There is no acknowledgment of this. I got a "well sorry, we're terrible parents" a week ago. but nothing normal like "jesus! are you ok!"
I don't want them in my life anymore, I feel this would just continue it. I'd love to get a house though. I feel I need to establish myself, and I can rationalise it. But I think I would be in it thinking.. Daddy paid for this. I'm still kept. I'm still f*cking kept!!