This girl has been one of my best friends. There was a time when she was madly in love with me, but then I was the one who kept denying and remained just friend. None of that came in the way of our friendship. But eventually I developed the same feelings for her, unfortunately by that time, although still friends, she had stopped feeling the same way for me. When I proposed, she didn't deny but didn't even give a full yes. She thinks she needs time before she could say yes. She cannot hurt me. But when I meet her, her love doesn't remain hidden, just that she wont say it out loud and clear. All her friends and family know about us, so much that some of her closest friends actually treat me as if we're already engaged. I am alright with the little wait before entering the relation, but problem is, when we are not meeting she wont talk to me over phone, she wont respond to my messages. This was never the case just a few days before when we were just friends. She would be the one eager to talk and laugh with me. I have no clue how she is going to say yes if we don't get to talk to each other? While her love and care is all visible when I am around, why would she avoid any communication when we are apart? This phase is too frustrating. Her avoidance hurts me and I am scared that the frustration may make me hurt her. Why is she doing this and how do I respond?
I tried everything, talking, not talking, running behind like a mad man, travelling distances, giving space, giving time, understanding her confusions, giving confidence, avoiding arguments, not pushing too much. Only tried to get her feelings in place rather than convincing on arguments, gave her confidence that she should come only if she feels for me and not for any other reason or for sake of convenience. She could not come to conclusion, finally I had to stop the turmoil this was causing for everyone. 'If not sure of yes then say no, an absolute no' and she did, rather I made her do it. I know she is in pain too and has been apologetic since. I didn't want to hurt her, neither did she, but it happened otherwise. Looking back, I think she is not the same person that I used to know, she has learned to hide and manipulate things, at least she tried, though it was never needed between us, and that has hurt more than the rejection. I don't think she's dating someone else, but sure enough that she hasn't come out of an intermediate relation she broke off from. Had it not been for the long distances, I may have been able to get her out of it, but in the hindsight, if a broken relation with a dishonest person makes you blind enough not to see your age old forever friend, families, and their feelings, may be you need more time to maturely get into life long commitment. No regrets.