After multiple disk herniation,I quickly agreed to allow a surgeon to 'fix me'. Now I have a non-union of fusion, pinched nerves,severe pain in neck,shoulder & spine/down 1 arm. Then had a spinal tap which injured me despite a blood patch. Found out later that my surgeon was just released from prison for attempted murder of his wife & faking his own suicide & fleeing the area to hide(I should have researched his name BEFORE surgery). I went from loving my job & making good $ to living in pain,depression & poverty, overnight. I NEED to fix my life. It's been 15 years of struggle to pay bills,rent & eat regularly. I need to earn enough $ so I can eat, the last 2 weeks of the month. I'm down to 85lbs and need to fix my life and get my confidence back. I have searched high & low, to find ways to earn money without losing my small benefits. I worked as a bar manager/bartender at a nightclub for 20 years previously. I was busy,happy,healthy & had lots of friends. I want my life back but can't change kegs,stand on my feet for 12 hour shifts,etc. I will NOT beg for $ online, go to soup kitchens/food banks. I've been in this rut for far too long. Rents & bills take about 75% of my check. I want my life back but know it's impossible. I live in a very rural area so can't just find a PT job 'under the table'. I have trouble just getting to the store. Even $200 a month, would improve my life greatly by allowing me to eat right for the entire month and buy small gifts for my loved ones on their special days. I really need advice as I'm a proud person. I did make an app with vocational rehab thru SS & the man barked at me, "Why are you here!?You are 100% unrehabilitatable". I wanted to die of shame. I hoped to further my education, be able to go back on the workforce and be a real person again. I've tried everything. I need sound advice but don't know where to turn. Not sure anyone here can offer me advice but I'm hopeful that it's possible. I just can't give up. I'm only 52 years old. Not sure which category, this fits in. Thanks for reading!
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