Hey guys.
I'm 18, male, and today a girl's mom died to cancer. I knew the girl so I went to the church with some friends paying my respects, but at some point this woman rushes to the coffin yelling for her to wake up. That was a huge emotional crasher for me that it forced me to get as far away as I could.
So for the rest of the day I just felt completly numb. It's the same feeling I had when I lost my grandfather 2 years ago, also to cancer. It's like wanting to eat but at the same time not wanting to. I just want breathe and sit here endlessly, simply breathing. Except now this numbness is even worse than when my granddad died.
Is it normal that I feel this way when dealing with death? I was suicidal for 2 years and I lost my fear of death (and my religion) but when someone else dies it's a different story.
The thing is, everyone who went to the church with me isn't nearly as affected as me. Is it normal for me to react this way to the death of someone I didn't even know?