I had a realization at work today (details of how it came about are irrelevant.) I realized that I really have spent the majority of my life being a narcissist. I also realized that while I have definitely made strides, I still do it sometimes, often without realizing it. I see that narcissism is part of my personality, and i hate it. I can't change what I did, and I definiently don't want to belittle what I've done by saying "I'm sorry." However, I really do want to make those that I've hurt to know what I did was wrong, and that the words remorse and regret don't begin to describe how I feel for my actions. I want to salvage relationships with those that I've hurt, but more than that, I want healing for them, because ironically the narcissist in me tells me that if I can somehow fix it, then maybe I'll be able to forgive myself. I know that God gives is all grace, but part of me can't help but feel that after what I did, I really don't deserve to move on and have healthy relationships when I took just that from other people.
Can anyone give me any tips on this? How can I approach people that I've hurt, even if I should?
