So I'm 22 and I've had a lot of jobs over the past few years. More than I'm comfortable saying. For as long as I can recall, the interview and the first day I always throw up that morning. After that, it's a matter of being miserable and unhappy and physically I'll until I can't take it anymore.
Most people would say I'm privileged. I still live at home and I live with my boyfriend of 3 years (we have our own separate apartment.) Of course we have bills to pay and we have luxarys we spend money on. Well for most of our relationship I haven't had a job and that in turn has caused stress on my boyfriend. I had a job for a year and a half that was the longest job I kept and I was happy for the most part. I quit for a stupid reason but now I can't be rehired and I regret it every day since. (Quit in April). I have a new job but it's late hours (open till 4am) and my boyfriend works in the morning. Everyone tells me that's life and it happens but we're never going to see each other and that is something I cannot handle. I understand that I have to work but I can't find anywhere that makes me happy and fits my lifestyle and all of the stress of constantly trying to find a job is killing me. I can't eat I can't sleep. My boyfriend said I have to stick this out until I at least find a new job that has better hours and is more reasonable (I don't get a break which is new to me). I really just don't know what to do I feel like I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
I've been seeing a counselor for a few weeks now but I feel as if he doesn't take me and my anxiety serious. I don't find it helpful. I really believe that I'm not cut out for this life sometimes and I hate everything. I'm miserable. (I am not suicidal, life is a blessing and miracle. I just feel cheated and weak). I just want to find a job that I can be happy at but I don't how long that will be and what this holding out in the mean time will do to me or my relationship.
I guess my question is, what should I do? What would you do? I could ask to have my hours changed but I don't know if it will happen. He just made the schedule today and asked me if it was okay. I'm new and I didn't want to look bad so I said yeah. Now I'm thinking about long term. If I'm going to be working till 4am every day I'll loose my mind. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.