... We are animal people and love our pets. I had to put my dog to sleep after 23 years of wonderful life together. I miss my Muffin like it was yesterday. My heart breaks. One of his dogs died suddenly due to some under cooked pork she ate, he did not take her to the vet in time even after I begged him to do this and that I thought she was dying. We really dont talk about it but he did not know that before she was buried, I took a cutting of her golden fur to have a small piece of her because I loved her so, so much. Now, my partner and I are breaking up and I am packing my things. I just picked up my Muffins ashes and under her was the small ziplock that contained the hair cutting. My heart hurt all over again. I decided to give him the cutting of hair in hopes that it would bring him some peace. When I went showed him the hair and told him that I kept it because I loved her so much but I thought he should have it because she was his dog. He took the bag, looked at it and just threw it on the counter and walked away. I was stunned. This was the same man who cried for days after this dog died. Now, he could care less because it comes from me? Needless to say, I took the bag back. Not really sure what to do now. Is this guilt? Is it anger? Either way, to throw this kind of a gift back at someone you once loved... I just don't understand
Answers (2)
10 years, that's quite a while... You must be feeling hurt by the whole affair, I'm sorry it came to this.
Whilst I don't claim to know aught of the nature of your separation, it's possible much pent up stress has accumulated over time, which now manifests in the form of anger. It's a very powerful emotion, and in some people is coupled with tunnel vision - the feeling of loss may be there (if indeed he had as much devotion for his pets as you believe); however, it's muffled by time and pain.
Nevertheless, it doesn't matter anymore. You must take care of yourself henceforth. You cared for that dog, it matters not to whom she belonged; the memento is yours to cherish.
You are just experiencing what happens in a divorce. Whether you were married or partners or roommates, you had 10 years (1 decade) of a relationship. That's an emotional investment anyway you look at it. When those relationships come apart, 98 percent of the time it is not by friendly mutual agreement. People who used to be close, loving, trusting are angry, vindictive and cold. Its just the way it is.
As for your friend's dog why didn't you pick up the dog and take it to an emergency vet? Allowing a dog to suffer is not excusable for either of you.