beautiful African American little girl. Our children are 5, 3, and 2. The little girl whom we would be adopting is about 20 months. At first we were both all for it, why does it have to be any different? We will be giving this child a good, sturdy, christian home. But then doubts began to settle it.. What if she feels like an outcast her entire life because all of our other children are caucasian? What if she gets picked on at school for having caucasian parents? Would she marry a caucasian man or an African American man? Would this do more harm than good? My husband says I worry too much, but I want to make sure our hearts are in the right place before we move forward. There are so many things about caring for an African American child that I don't understand for lack of knowledge and experience ( hair care, skin care.. ect). Please, especially moms, let me know what you think?
Responses (4)
Listen dear, you have every right to be worried. After all adopting a child is a very large task and it's not like getting a dog or something, there's sooo much you need to think about. However your thinking is a little bit roubling. You need tot adopt that child. Think about it. You said would she like caucasian parents? Woul she like havind no parents? You said she would get picked at school.if you dont adopt her she may never go to school. You said you dont know about things like skin care. In an orphanage would she get skin care? At your place she would feel loved and if she grows up with your kids, she 'll fit in especially sincee even you eldest one is still quite young and will understand anything you say. Think about it. If you adopt her, there will be one less lonely child in the world and being a parent im sure you love kids and understand it. Go ahead adopt that kid and give her a fair chance in life.
It doesn't matter at all what colour the childs skin is, if she feels loved in your family then thats all that matters.
Children get picked on at school for a number of different reasons, but its how you deal with this that matters.
I am about to enter into a civil partnership with my girlfriend and the issue of having children also cropped up. what if the child was picked on at school for having two mums. We decided thats no reason not to have a child. Society can challenge you, but all that children need is a stable loving home and if you can give that to the child then you should go for it!
It would not matter if the child marries a caucasian or an african man. Its shouldnt be about skin colour, or sexual orientation. We should all love each other no matter who people are and not judge. I don't really know what its like for you in america, but in england we getting towards being a multicultural accepting society and thats how it should be.
You should listen to what your heart tells you, and I think that you really want this child and so you should go for it!!!
Hi Anna,
I would say just follow your heart.
The most important is that : "if you adopt that african american girl, she will be part of you, not by blood but by anything else : ways of living, ways of thinking, ways of respecting, ways of enjoying life also".
If possible you can do it, just do it : you save one more life to live and enjoy life.
The way you care her will be there always : in the future, the question will appear about why I am not Caucasian and so on but do not afraid to tell the truth.
I will tell you about a story : it's not exactly the way it was told but you can see it.
A girl is always picked by her mama from school everyday.
But one day, the girl was so angry because all of her classmate are telling to her that she has a one eyed mother, and she was so hurt that all the parents of her classmates are "normal" (way to say). It created a hurt-filling in her heart.
When time comes for her to study in the university, she went abroad. But still she became not caring her mother anymore, even during her weeding the mama was not invited because mama is so strange with his face and one eyed and maybe the others may say about it again.
After, she has a family and has children. But the mama, just knew from the others that her daughter has good life now and have 02 children already. She wanted to see her and the grandchildren but anytime she wanted, she was not allowed to do so, even to see from a far.
One day, she became so old and so sick, her friend who gave the information about her daughter told her daughter that her mama is so sick and she needs to see her mother. The daughter didn't care about it.
Then mama was in the hospital, so she took paper and wrote to her daughter about everything.
After, the daughter went to the hospital but the mama passed away already.
When she read the paper from her mama, one of the words there is this " I love you so much, that's why, when you fell down from the stairs when you are child, you lost your one eye, and then I give one so that you can see the world more than me".
You see, it's not the same as your story but I can say : "you offer the best for her".
That mama was hurt because of the way that her daughter is acting but still the love is there, so that for any circumstances she love her daughter.
Hope your love is more important for your whole family. God bless you.
You can give this beautiful girl a loving home,food,
( all the loving care + attention )
As daunting as it may seem....
If you could stop thinking about "what if..
"will she/won't she..."who.." "maybe"
This is one time you need to listen to your
heart.
Please talk this over with someone who really
listen,+ then discuss this with you.
Talk to a trained counsellor,minister,priest...
(similar)
Everyone needs a little perspective on life-
changing events.