My brothers might be mentally ill and I might be mentally ill, too?

Question

I live with my brothers, ages 33 and 37 for the last 10+ years.  They say they can't get jobs.  One is really, really obese, and the other one I think has social problems and acts like a homeless person.  It took me literally years to convince the latter sibling to get a food stamp card and stop eating food out of dumpsters at night.

I'm 35, and I think I might be crazy, too, but I'm functional.  I have a good job and I pay all the bills.  I'm tired of living with them.  I don't know what to do.  I'm afraid if I just abandon them they will become irretrievably crazy and homeless.  My brothers and I have been let down and abandoned by our family and society, and because of this, abandoning them is something I can not bring myself to do.

So what can I do?  I feel trapped.  I've been very depressed for the last few years.  I can't find a wife and start a family while living with my weird brothers.  I feel like, at this point, they really can't get even the simplest minimum wage jobs.  How can I have my own life and also make sure my brothers will be OK?

Answer

Look up the word enabler.

They don't do anything because they don't have to.  You do it all.  Get your own place and contact welfare and tell them you think they are not functional. Who knows maybe they are just lazy. Let professionals test them.  They perhaps can do well in a group home with supervised jobs.

However, they may just need medication to be able to function.  Have they been tested and diagnosed?

You aren't crazy but you have your own issues and enabling them is one of them.  Can you even function outside:  socially ask a girl on a date, throw a football party at your home, join a group of people you share interests with?  I doubt if you've even tried it.  Its time.  Good luck!

My brothers might be mentally ill and I might be mentally ill, too?

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