My boyfriend of over a year told me he wouldn't marry me without a prenup. He said the prenup would make sure that I don't get his pension or spousal. He owns his own condo at the moment and car, plus he has a huge savings account (he is a police officer) I can definitely see why he would want to protect what he has, but now he is talking about buying a house for himself (and me to live in) i do not have money to put towards a down rpayment...I only have a small savings and I have no idea where to go from here.So upset, please help
Responses (4)
Laws differ by location, but in some places, marriage pools money the individuals had before marriage, and in others, it's considered separate in the event of divorce. Unless you're a gold digger, you shouldn't have a problem with his keeping his money in the event of divorce. One thing you should bring up, though, is what should happen if he dies. He probably doesn't want the house to go to his family, so that should be spelled out in the prenup.
In most places, you'd be entitled to half of whatever assets were added since marriage, and depending on difference of income, possibly alimony. I suggest that you get terms added to the prenup that will protect you in case of divorce and in case of his death. You sure don't want him to die, have the house go to his parents, and be out on the street.
Do you think I an crazy to stay with the guy? I'm beginning to think I am... :(
I asked him what would be included in the prenup, and he said it would make sure that I do not get his pension or spousal if we were to divorce.
Do you live together now? Do you pay half of the bills? If this is this case unless he is buying the home outright you should be be entitled to a percentage of the home You are not there to spend YOUR money securing his future and leave none for yourself. On the other hand if he is buying the home outright or you do not work allow him this little safety net or security for himself, but protect yourself too. Ask him for a compromise. After 5 yrs of marriage you would get x amount if $$ if you got a divorce if married 10 yrs set another amount come to an agreement you are both comfortable with if you have children a judge would settle that. Also over the yrs put money away for yourself that He Does NOT know about to secure your future, just as he has done for himself. You need to be smart but reasonable when dealing with this. If the tables were turned would You not want to protect your assets and your pension?
Yes we do live together in his condo. I give him $300/month for rent which isn't much. He pays the rest of the bills and lets me save my money. He also has a second car which he lets me drive. He is very good like that, it just scares me knowing that if he buys a house and I sign a prenup it will never be in my name. I do not have the money to put towards a house. So if we ever do divorce I would be left with nothing and I will never own anything
Honestly I got married last year, I have always worked but he does much better than me. We have a child together too. He owns 3 properties. I am the one who ‘jokingly’ mentioned prenup he said absolutely not. He looks after me so well if ‘i’ Leave him he doesn’t owe me anything. I would certainly not want to take his hard work away from him either way. I support us in the way of childcare, food, fun and minor bills. I would certainly struggle if we parted but I would not want to rely on him. Some times we part as people so we should part on finances too. If a split ever happened i think he could support our daughter in terms of clothing, clubs and stuff but he would always have her whenever he could anyway and treat her like a princess. We shouldn’t be eachothers problem. If we went half n half it should probably end that way too
Thank you. I brought that question up, and he said that if he were to die then that would be a different story and I would get the house. I jut always imagined I would someday be buying a house with him...not him on his on. But I do not have money to put towards a house anyway. I feel like if we were to ever divorce I would be left with nothing and that scares me