Okay, I changed school for one year. And I was am the shy kind of person. He was really nice and friendly to me. We became good friends, he shared his problems with me and I helped him. And he helped me at times... Then came the school ball and I got nervous and kind of in the corner that night. Cos people really freak me out. He came along and danced with me and stuff; and was with me the whole night. I had a fun night, it was one of the best nights bcos of him... (will make the story short, I promise). Then we got into a relationship for about 28 days.
The 28th day we did it...then the moment he's finished, he was all like "Oh i made a big mistake, it happened too soon...maybe we should not be in a relationship..." That's it, he never talked to me after that.
Later, I discovered that, right after the ball, he spread this rumour through the that "he did me after the ball". And nothing happened that night!!. And while we were together, he told me to not tell anyone about us, later I realized that he did that cos he was embarrassed of me. He knew that I constantly being abused at home (I had marks; he saw them and I freaked out and couldn't lie...).
I really don't wanna hear crap like "it's a game...don't hate the player, hate the game...you got played, it's your fault..." Hurting someone is not a game, it just means you have nothing better to do!!
I was thinking that he was a good friend and had a good time with me. I was getting out of my shyness and having fun because of him. I thought he liked for who I was. But to him everything was a joke. I was just some freak/weirdo and an embarrassment for him. He did all that just to score me!. To him I was just a joke, he treated me like a whore. I was being abused and took advantage of that as well. He really did hurt me.
Like most of my "friends" have only wanted something and then I never see them again. And for others I am a gossip topic, a freak and embarrassing. Other idiots have pity on me and will only friends with me to make me normal.
I didn't even want a boyfriend. I was just happy that I had a GOOD FRIEND. But later, I discover, that everything was a joke for him and he bothered to talk to me cos he wanted to score me. I mean, you'd feel really bad knowing that you are an embarrassment for everyone and anyone. Just because you are different, people treat you think u are a freak and a weirdo. People only follow morals and ethics when convenient for them.
I mean I am a nervous wreck cos I had a sh@t childhood and was mostly being abused and hiding from the world...It's not just once I have been hurt, over and over I
have tried to make friends...I can't be stuffed anymore with people and socializing.
For those who think this is funny, or I am dumb, or being melodramatic. You guys don't know what it's like to be hiding from people for years and years, even during lunchtime and interval. And panicking even in the slightest of social situations...
Watching everyone fit in with everyone so easily and people calling you a "social outcast"...
Cheers,
Princess :)
Stay strong ok so he used you and abused you so he's a jurk I guess he's just worried that one day he's going to get caught because of it and he proberly didn't see what is truly you he may have acted different around you compared to he's friends and maybe hes scaard because if they knew the whole story he would become the joke and get bash for all those year and don't put yourself down and stop socializing just because he did that to you and your worried this time I feel it you'll be fine get to know him or she well and the decide wether he's going to be the same as last time or not if you keep being shy the more and more those days and memories are going to come back you need to over come that and believe if you believe you'll recieve and will get the best man you will ever wish for I know so.
Good luck and tell me how everything gose and how you feel
Good luck again ;)!!