So my family is now wanting to move to the mid-west and demanding an answer as of right now, if I am going with them or not . (I'm in the West coast) They tell me if I go then I can still be part of the family and go to a good school and live my life easier, but if I decide to stay then I'm basically abandoning them and will no longer be part of the family and they will just burn and get rid of any memory of me since I don't want to be part of the family anyways and I will forever be on my own because whoever is in my life right now will not be there in the end and I'm assed out of everything. (Sorry for my run on) This is really hard on me because I feel like they are basically saying I have no choice, and it hurts the fact they would even say that without considering it's a bit too harsh. Mind you I'm 19 and already in college nearly a year away from getting my associates in bio and will be going to a university to get my bachelors, I'm a assistant manager at my job. I do have a bf and it would break me to leave him because I would like to spend my life with him if possible (I doubt it but I can dream) but I refuse to have him be the reason I stay. Especially with the chance he could drop me in heart beat if he wanted to not to mention he is after all my first bf so really it would be dumb if I made him my reason to stay. I don't know what to do and i'm stressed enough and this is causing a depression to me thinking I might lose everything if I decide I want to stay.....I feel like this shouldn't be the feeling or the case, I need help. I need advice to ease my thoughts and make a decision without losing my family......
Answers (4)
I would advise you stay where you are. You are an adult, you can support yourself, you have a future (college), a boyfriend (and presumably some friends) so basically you're grown up and have a life. They are your family, so I doubt they will permanently cut ties, but if they for some reason actually did then it probably wasn't a healthy relationship to begin with. I'm sorry you're in this kind of situation, and I wish you nothing but good luck with it. Feel free to respond if you have any more questions.
First, you must relax. Can't make big decisions whilst overwhelmed. Preferably go out for a walk in a nearby park.
Close family usually aspires to unconditional love.
What you're describing here sounds very different from that. Possibly, there's some short circuit in communication: That they have an important reason to present an ultimatum, that you misunderstand their assertions, that some details about your family and relationship with them were omitted from the post.
What's that talk of a "good school" - is anything wrong with the college you're currently attending?
I see. It's not universally true. A matter of supply & demand - if there are many applicants, HR may pick any filtering technique towards which they're inclined. Definitely not just academy's prestige, but very important to show confidence & competence.
There's this article called "I don't hire unlucky people", if you have a bit of time it's an interesting read.
If they are as arrogant / posh as depicted, you cannot defer to their intimidation. That "better life" would cost your freedom, bent to their will as long as they live. You have a choice in how to break it to them. It may or may not alter their respect for you (over time), but again, it's the best that can be achieved under such circumstances.
I think you should attempt a stoic mien, if at all possible. Disregard any ultimatums as though they wouldn't make much of a difference to you, whilst wishing them well in their travels. If you expose weakness, they'll use that to corner you.
If they elect to condition your seat in the household with obedience, it's better to be forfeited. Everything else might be lost, but this can only be given or taken away.
If your family is talking about rejecting you, that is a family you don't want to be a part of anyway. That hurts, but there it is.
It sounds like you have only a casual relationship with this guy. That's normal. Your problem is that you will be suddenly alone. In my experience, that feeling lasts only a few days. And then you just get on with your life.
the college im attending is UNR. They said it is a not well known school and not known to be a school with pride. i cant go somewhere and say i graduated from there because they said i would be looked at as a joke. As a student there i cant see anything wrong with it other than its located at the end of downtown. but thats all i can see. stats and data may tell otherwise.