Hello,
there is a line from a song I recently heard but did not understand. I have asked all my friends but since we are not english, no one could help me. So the line is:

Thoughts of either one I pushed away

I have absolutely no idea. I have tried many different ways but I am not coming to a result.
If you need more context, here is the whole first part:

Wash my hands of all my sins today
Left it all behind me
Thoughts of either one I pushed away
You dont understand me

I appreciate all your answers. Thank you in advance.