I'm 18 (freshman in college), there was this toga party that my friends and I went too. I got drunk, to the point where I couldn't hold myself up but not to where I didn’t know what was going on. There was this guy that I had been seeing for about a month. Now when I say seeing I mean, fooled around once and hung out only when he wanted, maybe three times a week (cuddled, kissed); but not dating or anything because he didn't want a girlfriend or fling during wrestling season. The one night we fooled around I told him I was a virgin and that I wanted my first time to be special and he was sweet about it.
So the night of the party him and I ended up upstairs in the bathroom, we started making out and messing around when things went too far and we have sex. I remember telling him I didn't want to but I never told him to stop once it was happening. The next day I asked him to talk about it and he told me that he blacked out and doesn't remember, then when I said that I was pretty sure it happened he said he didn't have sex when he was drunk. So for the next week he didn't come and talk to me like I asked and then accused me of saying that he raped me (I didn't, that is not what happened) and when we did talk face to face (2 weeks later) he still denies it happened and that he doesn't believe me (says he left the bathroom with his pants on, he was in a toga only had boxers), I went to the doctor and am getting all the tests and things, also took the morning after pill after.
I'm a person who cares to much and all though I know that he doesn't care about me or anything, I still do. He can act like I don't exist but I can't been in the same room with him without shaking, when I'm not with others I think about the events over and over. I know that I deserve better and that he will never change. Because my school is small I see him every day, he also lives in the dorm below me.