I'm fifteen, and it's almost the end of summer. I've had so much fun this summer, just relaxing, playing video games, watching anime, and occasionally playing with my cousins. During our camping trip, I really started to feel like one of the older kids. My younger cousins were playing pokemon like we used to, running around and being kids. But me and my other cousins were just sitting around the fire being tired. Right after we got home, I got hit with this huge anxiety attack because I looked at the calender and saw exactly how much summer is left. I still have to do my AP US History homework, and not only that but my sister is entering 11th grade, which means she has to make all these huge decisions. I know her more than anyone and I know she hates this topic because she has no idea on what she wants to do. This makes me worry because it means if another summer rolls around, it means the last year I have with her. Not only that, but my older cousin is going away to college. This is the last year I can live this life and I'll be heartbroken when it ends. To me, endings are unbearably sad. I love my sister so much and we get along so well. I can always tell her the highlights of my day and talk to her about video games or anime. If she's gone, or any of my cousins, I'll be so lost. I'm terrifyed of my childhood ending in general. I do have a dream of being a video game designer for a Japanese company, but it seems so impossible since I haven't done anything outside of school and I don't know if I have the nessesary skills. I don't want to leave my parents or my dogs, and I don't want my sister or my cousins leaving me. I also worry about my younger cousins since in a few years, we'll all be gone and they'll be all alone. No one but my school counselor, whom I've only spoken to once, knows I feel anything remotely like this and thus I have no where to turn to but anime and video games to help ease the pain, but that seems to only mix my feelings with the past. I long for the days where I though of only the latest episode of tokusatsu and anime or the release date of my favorite video game. How do I cope with all this?
Answers (1)
Well young padawan, I may have some sage advice for you. And I do hope it helps. Growing up is hard. But life is always changing. Change can be good. You don't have to give up anime and video games as you age. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to either. You can be and do anything you want so long as you don't harm anyone.
Now, as for your sister. There is no reason to think you will not see her or speak to her once she goes off to college. We have so many types of communication these days, from facebook to texting to video chatting.
Also, I would advise anyone that is unsure of what they want to do after highshool to take a year or two off to figure it out. Get a job, make some money and get a foothold in the adult world. There is no reason to rush into an education that you may not be ready for or sure of.
I suggest that you take a few deep breaths. Life is hard at times yes, but you'll be okay. And remember that every day is a new adventure and you never know what wonderful things are in store for you. Enjoy your adolescence while you can and stay young at heart.
If you feel you need additional help, maybe more counseling would be helpful.