I found some conversations in my husband's phone that I immediately thought were spam they were in fact messages he was exchanging with multiple gay men on Craigslist! ! The more I saw the worse the shock became! My ears went deaf my hands were ice cold and shaking! He was talking about meeting spots and sending pictures of himself! They were also having sexual conversation. Also in this middle of all the gay stuff I found pictures of me that he had posted on another Craigslist posting for wife picture swapping! Wtf my face was in some of them! So I ask him what's up & he says thar it was because he wanted to mess with them ie... turn them on & shoot them down also said he wanted to see what kind of guys would show up but he never spoke to them in person just watched from far off! Ok so I say why did you send them pictures he said to make sure they showed up! He said a guy he worked with did it and it was fun but wierd. So I say well why didn't you tell me? He says I knew you would tell me that it was gay andor wietd &I not to do it! He just keeps insisting he is not gay. Well I am definatley not convinced but at the same time I am extremely close to him and want to believe him! We just had a baby and our sex has decreased but we both truly want to have sex it's just always bad timing or something! Please any thoughts are better than none!
Is my husband gay or a gay basher???
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by Bmcamis
- Topics:
- phone, gay, multiple, conversation, found, husband, thought, spam, message, fact, phones
Added 3+ months ago:
He also says that it was only for the attention and he should not have done it. That it made him feel good about himself &I helped his self-esteem! The guy is 6'8 280 and is built nice I have no idea how t that played into the whole gay Craigslist posting?? This guy wouldn't even get out of the car at a gay club my friends & I were going to! I am still so anxious about this! If he keeps denying it how can we move forward??? I told him that I need to understand why!
Responses (5)
I am VERY sorry to have to say this, but your husband is definitely gay or harboring homosexual tendencies. He is probably having a crisis within himself about his personal identity and sexuality. He is trying to cover this up to keep you and to spare your feelings. His lie is very complicated because he knows this is a tough one to explain away. Most importantly, this is not your fault. It has nothing to do with your attractiveness or anything like that. Most likely he has always felt this way about men and has tried to put it aside by denying it, hiding it even lying to himself about it. He probably has a lot of self-loathing about it too. Hiding a part of yourself can do that. My advice is to get counseling with him, try to help him process this. But do not try to save your relationship by allowing him to continue lying to himself and you. It may be time to part and just be supportive as a friend. As hard as it is, it's not worth the risk to keep up a lie, be exposed to StDs and allow this to hurt you for the rest of your life. I'm sorry.
Sad to hear that but I advise you to cultivate spirituality as a couple. try to read this: http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/wp20111101/cultivate-spirituality-as-a-couple/
It would help.
Sexuality is not as simple as just a label, straight or gay. There is a huge undercurrent of men (married or not) who want to perform some (but not all) sexual acts with other men (or have acts performed on them by men). These men would never consider themselves gay, would never kiss a man, love a man, marry a man. But there is a lure of sex. I would believe your husband is one of these types of men.
Ideally, you could encourage him to talk about it, but men can be very neanderthal about things like this and will just hide in their cave.
Women do not have a monopoly on straight men. Don’t fall for this lie. YOU are having a reaction to this, because YOU believe your pussy owns the rights to his dick. His dick is his own, or can do what it wants. If you don’t like it, get a divorce and go into counseling for your homophobia and other issues that are causing you to not only be closed minded but physically ill - an extreme contortion of your own mind by yourself: that dick don’t belong to you, get over it.
Women do not have a monopoly on straight men. Don’t fall for this lie. YOU are having a reaction to this, because YOU believe your pussy owns the rights to his dick. His dick is his own, or can do what it wants. If you don’t like it, get a divorce and go into counseling for your homophobia and other issues that are causing you to not only be closed minded but physically ill - an extreme contortion of your own mind by yourself: that dick don’t belong to you, get over it.
Thank you! I just need so sort of direction I am way to freaked out to not get some advice! I was already feeling alot of what you said!