Individually I love my parents, and in between fights I treasure our time together because they're funny and kind and I know they love me- but when they fight, I feel terrified. I've been caught in the middle of my parents fighting since I was little. At least then, I had my older brothers to referee with me but they are moved out/never at home. Now I feel like I'm alone in it, and trying to push two adults away from each other is difficult when you're much smaller, weaker and outnumbered. I'm not old enough to move out on my own, I have no where to go otherwise and the thought of what might happen if they get in a bad mood, alone together scares me too much. For a long time, during more out of control fights I wished my parents would divorce. I think it would be safer, I think they would be happier- they'd told me many times they hated each other anyway and "sticking together" for the kids isn't a good reason when the only kid left want them to break up. Recently, I've started openly suggesting divorce during scarier times and I mentioned it to them today as well. The problem is, as soon as they're acting civil I feel guilty because what if they weren't happier, what if they'd be lonely etc. The thing is, my parents can be violent during fights, their name calling is horrible and they bring up arguments from 17 years before (no exaggeration). They last for a week (or longer), and happen at the flick of a switch, so I always feel like I'm tip-toeing around them, like I can't be in a bad mood in case it makes them angry and thus they'll fight. Trying to tell them to stop or pulling them away from each other during a fight just makes them angry at me too, even if I'm not picking sides. I think sometimes they do love each other and I know every couple argues- but I don't think this extreme is normal. I guess if it is, and this is what love and relationships are I don't think I want any part of it. Sorry, this is my first time talking about this & it's becoming more of a long winded vent than an question, but yeah- Is asking my parents to divorce bad? Should I just keep quiet and just deal with it until I leave and just hope they don't do anything too stupid while I'm gone?
Responses (1)
I don't know if it would be best to straight out tell them they should get a divorce, but sit them both down when they're not arguing and let them know how you feel about it. I know it can be difficult to deal with parents constantly arguing, but unless you let them know how you feel, they won't understand the toll their arguing has on you. Hope this helps!