I am 17 years old, this year, school has really opened my eyes to the world that we live in, and to be honest with you, I really don't like it,- but I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks this. From world history, current international conflict throughout the globe, and religious perspectives on life itself, I feel really lost, mixed up and I feel as though I have no sense of direction. I have been bought up in a religious family, (Christadelphian) which had initially shaped my views and perceptions of life, but recently I have been a bit more open minded and have been distancing myself from my parents' views as I live 2 hours away from home at a residential college to do my schooling. They totally respect that, and I respect them very much, however I have been developing my own mind and my own sense of what is right and wrong.
Almost every day I am trying to figure out; "Where did we come from? what should I believe? What do I agree with in this world? What do I reject? Who do I trust? Who even am I as a person?" Its almost like I am obsessed with this. I understand that all of these are very controversial questions and there are millions of theories, such as evolution, Christianity etc, but I don't want to just be believing a"Theory" that someone told me was most likely to be true. I want to know the truth! I can't just believe in God because my family said to believe in him, I have to prove his existence etc.. I have been going to different churches, exploring different religions, going to scientific presentations on the theory of evolution, but there's so many ideas floating around that I compare and contrast but I can't seem to get anywhere! Now that I'm starting to realize that I am an individual, and that mum and dad don't have the answers to everything, I feel lost! I don't even know if I know who I am or who I want to be. But the more I look into things and the more I look at our world, the more I disagree with so many things that are happening globally, and the more it makes me feel pessimistic and have a sardonic outlook on life. I feel confused and overwhelmed. Is this normal?
If you've made it this far, thankyou for your time. :)
Thank you so much, I really appreciate it :)