Is he telling me the truth?

Question

Please help me figure this out!!

My boyfriend  recently started texting and calling his ex wife.  He has been acting strange... he takes his phone everywhere he goes...deletes all texts to/from her and even changed her name to a guys name.  The only reason I know he changed her name is because I saw a strange text and the name and reply did not make sense.   I check his usage and I saw that it was from her.  When I asked him about it,  he says he deletes the texts and changed her name so I would not flip out if I see a text from her.  
I went as far as asking him to call her in front of me or text her and to show me her response.  This way there would be no doubt that he is being truthful.  He got very upset and said that he did not want to get her involved.  

In the end, he did text her BUT did not show me the text he sent to her or the first response that he got from her.  The only ones I saw were the couple after....and those said there was nothing going on between them..
He swears he has nothing to hide and there isn't anything going on.  He is very upset with me because I do not trust him and that I have become obsessed with checking his usage.
Am I crazy??   Should I call her?  What do I do?  
Thank you!

Answer

Relax OK? No, you're NOT crazy. You should call her, secretly and tell her what's going on between her and her ex husband. That man could be hiding something that he doesn't want you to know about and decided to do so...relax, and maybe ask HIM again, ask him what are you doing? (Don't tell him that a 14 year old kid said this...please?), and relax. Be calm and asking him the truth will only motivate him to tell the truth. He should learn his lesson about NOT telling the truth and lying to his girlfriend. If you've got to tell him you need to spend some time thinking about what to do next, please feel free to do so. If you're planning on breaking up with him, then feel free to do so, but don't hurt his feelings TOO much...that will only make him want to hate you even more. Trust me, my parents had this situation, my mom actually and she just went all over with the guy. I seriously thought that my mom's ex boyfriend would CHEAT on her, and he did. My mom was young that time, 16 years old I believe and never actually dated once she met dad in college in Nebraska. (I live in NYC now.) Whatever he does, even if its bad, please just be calm and relax. Tell him what you think of the situation and spend some time thinking about what you're going to do.

I'd suggest you call her.

Hope this helps! :)

Answer

The fact that he says there is nothing to worry about, yet refuses to show you, is a sure sign of trouble. Him becoming upset at a request to clear up the matter only confirms this disjunct. You are not crazy, as his paranoia towards someone who should be the easiest to trust is unnerving. I am not sure what calling her would accomplish, but I would definitely look at speaking with him about how you feel about this conflict, and, after hearing his response, weigh your options. In the end, it might be best to pull the plug.

Is he telling me the truth?

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