I have a relative who comes across being selfish. For example she wanted me to come visit her since she lives in another state. She ask me a few times. I finally said I would and she helped get the tickets for me but I bought them. I was so excited to see her and could not wait. I am not big on technology and still have a flip phone. I was having trouble with texting on my phone but it still worked. The relative I was supposed to see told me to buy a new phone before I visit her since she had to pick me up at the airport. I didn't find the need to buy one and was OK with the one I had. She went so far to tell me how many uses a smart phone has and the difficulty in finding me at the airport. First of all everyone has a phone. Second of all I do not feel the need for her to tell me every single detail about why a smart phone is good. She got so mad at me. She wanted me to buy another cheap phone. I could text on this phone and could talk on this phone. It got so bad that she was telling me that all I wanted was someone to drive me around her town and that maybe I should get a rental car. I was so hurt. I thought we had fun together and didn't know that she felt like she had to entertain me and that this caused her such stress on her. I did tell her that maybe I should not go because I felt that I was to much of a burden on her. She agreed that I should not come. I already bought the ticket and it was 350.00 for both ways. I did not hear from her until a week before the date before I was to go. This is what she says. " I need to know if you are going to change your mind and come. It doesn't matter if you do or not, in fact I have something I want to buy instead." I was so hurt by that text that all I could say was sell them. She text back "OK". She knew I could not refund the plane tickets and would lose out on $350.00. I now am talking to her a year later and now she says she has Asperger's and that is why she has been acting the way she has. There are so many other things that she has done like making boundaries on stupid things like when a person can call her when they are dependent on her for finances and she is the power of attorney. I am tired of walking on eggshells and about to remove myself from this relationship. I love this person with all my heart however the things she says are very hurtful and now to say that she self diagnosed herself with Asperger's is this just an excuse for her bad behavior or should I allow her to act that way. She does not allow me to talk about any of this to her and tells me never to bring it up again. I cannot tell her my feelings otherwise she gets upset. Should I remove myself? or allow her to treat me this way because she feels she has Asperger's?