I was seated beside her on the first day of college. Now when we've just finished, we have become best friends. But already back when I first talked to her, I started to fall for her. As I see it, she is way out of my league and the few of her relationships in the 3 years I've known her, have all been with older and sporty guys. I do not really fall into that category, as I am kinda bookish. We have lots of common interests, as movies, literature and humor. We don't text much, but when we're together we have lots of fun and deep conversations. She is also quite physical around me; always hugging and kisses on the cheeks and stuff. At the graduation party this summer, we both got pretty wasted. Late in evening she got real emotional about us not seeing each other often after college, and feared we might lose contact. As she was crying, I tried comforting her, kissing her forehead and cheek. She misinterpreted it and went for the mouth, which ended up in an awkward and not very successful kiss. Being a coward and kinda shocked, I didn't go for another kiss. Luckily, things didn't get awkward afterwards,but my feelings for her only grew. Now she is pretty much always in my head every time I allow myself to think. With her showing how much I meant to her by crying on my shoulder for 20mins and of course the kiss, just made everything more complicated. At this point, I don't know what to do, as I have clearly fallen in love with her. But since I won't see her as much now, I fear a negative outcome of me pursuing my feelings, could jeopardize our future friendship, if it were to become awkward and sad between us. At this point, I have no idea what to do, which I guess is what I am seeking advice on. I'm sorry for the long novel, I just spilled everything on my heart.
Responses (2)
I think that you should tell your feelings, because it seems that your best friend really likes you. The kiss (that I'm sure meant something between you both) makes your friend see how much she likes you, yet is confused about her feelings. I suggest you have a talk with her, and admit your feelings. If she returns the same feelings, it's good. But if she doesn't, your friend would try to explain that she'll just want to be friends. Rejection is hard to take, especially when you really love the person. Have you ever noticed that in stories the guy always has a crush on the best friend?
If your friend says no, it really depends. Most girls are afraid that if their best friend likes them, but if they break up, they would lose that special connection. Sometimes you have to prove that you really care. Talking is the first step, and I know that it won't be awkward if you two just listen to each other. Plus, you two may not see each other so go for it!
Just my two cents,
I know neither you nor your gf's background so my advice would be limited to what you have provided above.
You mentioned at the start that "she is way out of my league ", which I presume you imply that she is "too pretty/popular/cool" for you. However, that was when you had first met her - now it is already 3 years down the track and from your descriptions above, she was really does love you very much. Since you both love each other to such an extent, why make the break and break both her heart and your heart during the process?
To be honest, if she is currently in love with other 'older and sporty guys', then she (normally speaking) would not allow you to hug/kiss her to such a degree, would be too shamed to look you in the face and would probably even keep a distance form you.
You mentioned that you have both finished college and won't "see her as much now", but that should never be used as a pretext to end your friendship. You could always remain in contact with her via social media, skype, phone calls, and visits to her in person during weekends/public holidays or tertiary breaks.
If she was not the 'right type of girl' for you, then you would have known that during your 3 years with her. If your friendship has lasted this long already, then (in my opinion) she should be good enough for you for the rest of your life.
If you are both 18, why not get married? or make an engagement proposal to her in the next few days and agree to get married when both of you feel ready to? (ie. during the mid to late 20s). I knew a friend who got engaged in his early 20s but only married his fiancée 6-7 years later in his late 20s.
It is better to marry a girl who knows you, trusts you and loves you intimately than to marry another girl who does not know you much, does not completely trust you and does not really love you.
It is totally your choice of course. Surely you are mature enough to take the appropriate course of action........