I'm tired of chasing him...but I love him?

Question

Hey Guys! 

I've been with my bf for abour 3 months now, we met at college (we were lab partners), fell in love, and...that's it... 

I always felt like everything was happening too soon! I mean...I never really felt like I was "in love". 

He's a great guy, but he's just become so...moody! I'm always apologizng, chasing after him...next week I'm supposed to go to his place (just to be with each other), but I don't want to go... :( 

I'm afraid of breaking his heart...but I just feel like it's better to end this relationship now, than to carry on! 

He really is a good guy, but I just can't take it anymore, a few examples of what he does would be: 

1. he texts me, I'm in the shower, I reply 10 mins late...he sulks for half a day 
2. I'm studying physics, so I'm reallyyy busy...he keeppssssss telling me to call him!! and when I emplain that I can't...sulks for 1 day and a half. and when I do call him...he's just moaning...constantly... 
3. we plan a day to go out together, I call him about 2-3 days earlier, asking if we could move our date an hour later (I have good reasons), again...he just tells me that, "no one's forcing you to come! If you don't want to go out with me, just say so,..." 

I'm tired!!!! 

But...I have feelings for him, ..and we have some really great memories together...wish we could be great friends...but I know he wouldn't accept that. 

By the way, I'm 19 and he's 20... 



What should i do?!!! 

Thanks :) 

Tara.

Answer

eh... he seems like he could be a good guy. but he has to understand that you have some more important stuff to deal with as opposed to listening to him whine all the time. He doesn't seem like he's acting very mature if he's complaining about you moving your dates back an hour even thought you have something important and its for a good reason. He probably isn't the right guy for you if he can't work with your schedule. You should be honest with him. Just be straight up. If you like him tell him but then also tell him why you think you should stay friends. If he doesn't like the idea or respect your decision and he's still being a bit too clingy then he definitely isn't right for you and u need to move on. Unless you guys really want to be together or he really wants to be with you then you guys can try to work something out but make sure he actually listens to what you say and make sure that he understands that you are busy before u give him that chance and if not then I wouldn't go along with this relationship.

Answer

He is much aggressive or i may say dominant over you.First of all in a relationship, both of the partners  have to make sacrifices for each other and not only by one that is u. Such type of guy become much dominant over as time pass. He takes u as granted as u follow him as he say and never argue with him. 
The thing to do in such condition is make him realize that u are tired of such behaviour, tell him that u are not feeling good from some days & u are not able to concentrate on ur study and have lots of other pressures, tell him u need help from him to co-operate with me (you) and understand your condition. And if he still behaves same than tell him that u need space from him for some times & if u think that he will feel bad for this than or tell him that your going somewere for somedays and stay away from him for some days so that he will miss u and it will make him realize of your value in his life.
And for u, have mean-sprite in u & learn to say 'NO' and stay on it if u feel so to his opinion. 
I can understand that you love him very much as u know his whole schedule of his anger and complains that u mention, and i also hope that guy may change for u and be ur Mr.perfect but if he still does the same than i strongly recommend u to break-up and move-on because u have still a great future to look on and so don't get stucked from such parasites and be free.  
All & all listen to ur heart and do what is right because your life is yours and nobody else have right to order u to get change, against ur heart.

Answer

And you should accept that you have a boyfriend. If you didn't, then how will everybody see you? I'm not trying to be mean, just thinking...

Answer

In my opinion, I think you should listen to heart...... and don't force yourself :)

Answer

Tara at first I tell you, please don't give up. because your Mom & Dad never taught you to give up what you can't do right now. Just think its a part of a job. But of course never forgot you study. Because its more important than you BF ( who avoiding you right now). Its your life, you should know better about your life. You know why i'm just telling you like that??? Because I think about it by your point of view. 
If the same thing will happens with me, you know what I'll say to him??? Just F**K off. If i have a confident about on me , if i am looking average so i don't want any kinds of sympathy from him. 
So, just live your life yourself. In my heart, there is no vacancy to live or love without me. Without you no one can understand you very much. So why so serious about it.
JUST LET IT BE........................ AFTER ALL ITS YOUR LIFE...................NOT HIS.

I'm tired of chasing him...but I love him?

Responses (8)