I'm male 24, a loner, I work 3 nights a week (alone), have very few friends and no social life but really want to try and get out there a bit more. I have always found socialising hard. Trouble is, I lack confidence. I tend to spend 90% at home where I live with my parents. Whats the best way to get out of a rut like this? Also, I fear I'll remain single forever so whats the best way to meet a girl that would understand the kind of person I am and could help change me or raise my confidence perhaps? I have no ego and very low self esteem but am often told I'm good looking but find it very hard to take compliments seriously. Hope thats enough information. Any answer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.
Answers (3)
Clearly,your problem is isolation.You spend too much time inside and that is giving you the feeling that the world moves without you and you are somehow left behind.You lack confidence because you don't interact often with people,so you don't know what to expect from them.I think that all you need is to spend more time with your friend(s) or try to meet new people with the same interests as you.It's very important to interact with someone that understands you.
I don't know what your job is,but working from home isn't helping you and a solution would be to change your job.That will allow you to meet more people and develop your communication skills.Nothing is simple and a change isn't made over night,so you should put a lot of effort if you want to change your life style.For example,try to get close to a single person,one that you consider suited to be your friend and show yourself exactly how you are,be honest.You will see that if you can have one true friend,step by step you'll get to meet more people,you will be able to see that nobody is perfect,everyone has their problems and confidence isn't something that you receive or buy,it's something that you make yourself.Try to do something that makes you proud,that makes you feel useful and you'll see that your view on yourself will change.
Remember,it's all about ambition.Maybe you are not pleased with our life and need to make a change,so the problem may not be your person,but your life style.
I hope my advice was useful,but I think that the right solution is the one that comes from you.
Well to start off;
Do not think so negtive of your self that will only make it worse....
And I know where your coming from I understand how you feel I Isolate myself all the time yes I know that doesn't help me at all when you feel all akward around a girl you like and you want to say something and just can't find the strength to say it Tell your self I can do it I can do it Say it Say it and then you just say it no matter how stupid it sounds most girls love a guy who is true to there words and honest and just faithful to them all around if you fear that your are going to be forever alone you just get up and tell your self you can face anything this world has to offer no matter what anybody says about you the only way I can get through each day is putting a smile on my face and laughing and takeing each day's challeneges and your still young you have ALLOOOT of time ahead of you as do I for I am only 15 and yes I know Advice like this comeing from a 15 year old girl is impossible but I have been through more stuff then you can imagine and somtimes you have to go through hardships to get to the place or whatever your trying to get to no matter what comes you just have to belive in your self and belive that you can do anything you set your mind too dont think you cant impress a girl because I am sure in heaven and earth that you can impress any girl that comes along and your alot like my dad belive it or not he is Very socially akward but he is doing better now any ways dont let your self get in the way of your dreams beacuse if you do then you wont achive what your trying to achive.
The best way to impress a girl is to hang out with her and be funny and care about her and be there when she gets hurt and just be honest and true to her and most and importanly to your self and eventually time will tell you if you two were ment to be love never fails love is pure and graceful and its not ment to be played around with you are a very lucky guy your heart has never been broken and you should be happy that you didn't have to feel that pain belive me I know it hurts like hell on earth.
You probly are very good looking you NEED to stop putting your self down like that and I reapat** *DONT GET PLASTIC SURGURY*** you will regret it.... just look at some celebirty's any ways so what if you spend 90% of your time at your parents house have them hook you up with a nice girl or make your self go out to the park with a book and sit on a bench next to some cute girls and if they look at you casully glance up and then back down to your book -make sure you do it in this order- then shut your book and go over to them and sit down and say "hello my name is (Your name) and pick one girl out of the bunch or if there is only one girl over there then you got lucky after you introduce your self ask her whats her name she may smile and quietly laugh she may not who knows after you find out her name say you have been intressted in her for a while and you would like to get to know her more if all goes well and she is single you got your self a girl after you say that ask her if you two could go out for coffee and have it in the park if she says yes you have your self a date then tell her if she would like to come back tomarrow at the same place write down your phone number before you leave your parents house and put it in your pocket so that you have it when you want to give it to the girl and say call me tonight beautiful and pick up your book and walk away and casualy look back and smile
If you do it in that order you may have your self a girl friend and posibble a future wife now I am not saying it will work i am just saying its from a girls point of veiw I would want a cute guy at the park to do that to me ( oh and dont pick any girls who have children with them there most likely taken)
(dont get any idias on trying to impress me becuse ... im only 15.... but I dont mind falling love with a 24 year old.... if my parents dont find out that is )
well hope my answer helped if you have anymore questions just message me on my facebook :)
Hey man, my heart wrenches when I read this. I grew up in a very unstable household and never really had a father around and my mom had a bad drinking problem. This made it really hard for me to face life and I was stuck in my own head of swirling emotions most of the time, and isolated while my teen years sped by. Sometimes it's just circumstance, you dont really want to be alone but its just what seems to be happening. Im your age 24, and like you don't really have much of a social life even though I feel like with my personality i should have tons of friends and a bustling social life. Try not to label your self as a longer, you attract what you speak into your mind, law of attraction. I know its hard not to label yourself and be upset, but try to think from a place of, I am very attractive and desirable, and I am worth alot. I am unique and I belong in this world, I am happy, and I attract like minded people into my life. Love you bro, hang in there. My heart is with you, for what thats worth. <3
Thanks for your response. I havent logged in for ages, so have only just seen it. But i have to say your answer was probably the sweetest thing i've ever read. Made me smile, so thankyou :)