We've been friends for a very long time now (4 years maybe?), we used to tell each other (almost) everything, although she can get insecure at times. I can confidently say that I love her, not the kind of cliche love that gets all the public attention, but you know, love... um, I don't know how to explain it really. I tell her this sometimes, but I suspect she probably doesn't understand.
Anyway, recently she has acquired a boyfriend and we've been growing apart ever since. She has reasoned it was because she feels it is 'weird' that I can understand her better than does her boyfriend and also because she is afraid he will be jealous of our friendship and won't understand, and therefore she shut me down. This is for no other reason than that her boyfriend currently has no interest nor the emotional maturity to understand or connect with her (and she "appreciate" how patient and caring I am and such <srsly wtf>). Of course she realizes that their relationship is tearing us apart and but she is unfazed and won't do anything about it. This has been continuing for a year now, and sometimes it causes her to get (almost randomly) depressed (and suicidal) or angry at herself rather than enjoy the time we have together, which isn't particularly abundant because she always prioritize being with him anyway.
From my perspective, he doesn't even treat her with proper respect and he doesn't deserve her in the least way. Irrespective, their relationship continues to torment me as they display their repulsive affection which even disrupts her work (or school technically) at times. This is only exacerbated because somewhere along the way i seem to have developed a romantic feeling for her, which is completely in appropriate and futile because i can't really ever tell her.
I've talked to her about it several times, but that didn't change things much, apart from gaining some understanding of why things are the way they are now. I can remember we just went through something like this not too long ago, but this time, I think I might really lose her. I don't know if there's anything I can do or how I can deal with living like this.
Sorry for ranting on and on endlessly about my problem. Please don't give me useless answers like "suck it up" or "move on" haha
I'm losing my best friend, what ca I do, how do I cope?
- Posted:
- 3+ months ago by lazykitten
- Topics:
- friend, love, relationship, loss, time, best friend
Responses (2)
Envy does not become a gentleman. You presume to know what is best for her, yet emotional involvement clouds both objective judgement and empathy. If the man isn't outright abusive and intimidating her from leaving, don't shield her from exploration - spite shall be your only compensation for this. You're too close, excessive stake or bias, to have influence in such matters (think of it like an overprotective parent). For the time being, you're so far along the friendzone any romantic notion is sheer fantasy.
Don't waste another 4 years waiting for an express train to break down at your station, get an idea of where you wish to go and take the nearest bus in that direction.
What do you mean? Which bit? Why do you think it's fake?
I suppose there could be things that she wouldn't tell me, it's not really surprising
Anyway, thanks for the answer
I'll probably need more than that though