I'm in love with a friend of mine, I don't see her a lot but I want to every second. What do I do?

Posted:: 3+ months ago by Number8
Topics:: friend, mine, love, boyfriend, girlfriend, cheesy, every, friends, good, heartbroken

Details:

Okay so this might be a little cheesy, so be prepared.

I'll start off by saying I know her since we were little. My parents were (are) good friends with her parents so we go there every 3/4 months. We have always been getting along pretty well. But in the last year I started to develop feelings for one of the girls that live there. I never had this feeling before. This may sound a little weird but I'm 18 years old, and I have never kissed a girl, nor have I had a relationship with one. In the past I was either too scared to talk to girls or I was just not interested. But because I know this girl very well, I am myself around her. I make a lot of jokes, we're always playing games or football (soccer). And when I am around her, I think that she's the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. And when I am myself around her, that's the person I myself want to be for the rest of my life.

I'm really bad at catching signals from girls, (considering I've never had a girlfriend) so I don't know if she has sent them or is sending them. But I do know she laughs at my jokes a lot and she's more nervous around me than I'm around her. Those are good things I've got going for me. The problem is that I have a really hard time touching her, and that I think she hasn't really thought about being with me. I think she just thinks were good friends that see eachother every now and then. Everytime we leave their place or they leave our place I know that I want to just hug her so bad, and honestly that's really not a weird thing to do as friends at all. But with the parents and brothers and sisters around I just shake her hand because otherwise it feels awkward. And after that I kind of just wait for about 3 months until the next time I see her. It's killing me. I really want to know what I can do to make her fall in love with me, or to find a clever way I can tell her I like her. And for the latter I think I need a way to get to speak to her 1 on 1. Usually her family or my family is around.

Other information:
I have her number.
She's a little younger than I am.
She lives a 2 hour drive away from my place.
It's not an option to go there alone, for now.
Looks aren't an issue. I'm not ugly, but I'm no model either.

If anyone can help, it could just be the slightest of a tip, I would really appreciate it.

-S

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bellamay

It's obvious that you like her a lot, and she is clearly your first love. This can be hard, and crushes, well, can crush you.

But this girl, you have a lot in common yes? That's step one. You have already built the foundation for your relationship, and are past the awkward "getting to know you" stage. So a friendship that's a little bit more has already developed.

When was the last meeting? She may be interested in having a relationship with you, judging by the signs that you listed. Patience, patience, and a little more patience! Falling in love isn't quick, it takes time. Remember, there's something else forming though, so don't lose hope.

Be brave too. If she really matters, you'll find a way to communicate. They might be old fashioned, but letters are romantic. They don't have to start that way. A simple pen pal, who then becomes a sweet heart. Ask mom or dad, or maybe a sibling that might have her phone number, or a way to get it. If she's special, it will work out, promise!

I hope I was of some use, and I want this to work out! Please, feel free to ask as many questions as you'd like. I wish you luck!

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Number8

Hey, thanks a lot for your answer!

We do have quite a few things in common, but we don't really talk a lot 1 on 1. So it's hard to make that work in my favor. The last time we met was a few days ago. The problem I have with being patient is that if I keep seeing her only every 2-3 months, she may just meet some guy at school, at her hobbies or wherever. And if im not a constant factor in her life, she will pick other guys over me. Or am I wrong here?

I was also thinking about sending her a rose on Valentines day, with a note attached to it. I don't really know if I should hint that it would be from me, or just anonimous and tell her later. Just some thoughts.

At the last part I think you didn't read the part that I do in fact have her phone number, I just don't text her a lot. How often should I text her? And can I just talk about random stuff? Like, I don't want to bother her, and I'm just way better at speaking to people in real life than I am at texting.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it.

bellamay

I guess I skipped over that part! Yes, that's actually really helpful. So you're not really comfortable about texting; that makes sense. Think of it as her being right in front of you if or when you decide to send her a message. What questions would you want to be asked? What are her interests? Depending on what she likes, you can ask her how that's going. Like, what was the score to her last football match? Start a conversation based on the interests you both share, or passions that she has.
There is a possibility that some other guy can walk into her life when you're not around. This is why keeping in touch with her will work out a lot. You could start a distanced relationship. Don't wait until she's taken to act. Act and be the one to take her heart.
As for the waiting, that's a hard one. You definitely don't want to wait for the next visit to talk to her, especially since it's a long time away. However you communicate with her, drop subtle hints, or plainly tell her how you feel. The mystery in finding out if someone likes you is enough to keep her on her toes until the next get together.
If you go with that plan, be sure to know what you will say when you do see her. Sending hints is a nice idea if that's how you want to do it, but make sure you are ready for questions she has to ask, or her change in behavior.
Change in behavior. Cornered with her questions. That's where most people shy away and maybe that's not your thing. They don't want to lose the friend when they admit their feelings, But considering that this is your first love, and you are eighteen, this one is a treasure. You need to keep her that way. Take chances and be bold, or she might slip away. Always, always, always keep in mind how special she is to you. But I don't think I have to remind you about that; sounds like you do that all on your own!
Basically, you need to make it obvious that you like her, or that you want to be closer friends. Texting can go two ways, either you keep at it every couple days or so, or you go weeks between each message. You cannot take the second route, because that just screams awkward.
The rose is a sweet idea by the way, but Valentine's is really far away. (And when you do send a rose, don't say its anonymous, unless you send her hints before you do. If I got roses on Valentine's day from an anonymous person, I would be flattered, sure. But also somewhat scared.) Can you think of a Christmas or holiday gift she would enjoy?

Number8

I think I'll start by just texting her every 2 days from a certain point onward. And the next time I'll see her, I think I will just tell her I like her. I've been thinking a lot and I think it's just my best option. If I were to drop hints all I'm doing is delaying what I actually want. Another thing I don't want to do is getting my and/or her hopes up. If I won't tell her I like her, then what am I doing it for? Like you said, this one is special, so I'll have to be brave.

Thanks a lot for your help, I'll keep you updated if anything occurs.

bellamay

I wish you luck, and you're very welcome!

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