I'm going to keep this simple. Why do I feel like I have to stay positive if my life is so negative?

Let me ask this straight off the bat. Why is your life so negative? Is it the people around you? Or just the way you feel it is (like everyone's against you and nothing goes your way)?
A possible reason for having the need to stay positive is because you don't want to be dragged down by the negativity in your life.
It's like you're sinking ship, and you feel like if you let the water in, you'll go down and never come back up
So maybe it's the fear of submitting to that negativity, that you feel like you need to stay positive, you don't want to lose yourself to the 'darkness' never to see the light again.

I am always here if you want (need) to talk, we may not know each other, but that doesn't mean I can't be there for you, because it seems like you are missing that.
my email, just in case you want to talk
cya943@gmail.com
Just remember that you're not alone in this, okay?