... even born. I've pushed my whole life to make things work and my family made me quit school in order to pay bills with them. No one will hire me with this nurologicsl Disablity because I black out and get dizzy a lot and done times can't see well enough for long periods. I don't know what I'm good at any more but I'm not dead damnit. I hav ablities. I can't even understand simple math after this car accident. I want to go back to school but I really need a part time job. My government cash won't pay enough for the rent, and bills and food even. Every thing is a waiting list and most things are beyond my reach in one way or another. I wanted to be a theater director, film director/writer, writer of books and plays but I can't even get a job at an art store right now. One day I might want to be a theater teach or art teacher. But who would take on a disabled teach and how can I even get there in this state. Every day pushes me further over the edge. I need something in life or I will explode. I'm feeling more and more that I just can't take it any more. I need doctors note for school, in home care so which I need so I don't fall in the bath room etc. But I have an HMO and they decide everything. Docs won't give me notes at all right now.... I need a note from a doctor to help in school to learn better in school with my brain troubles, I hav. E'en trying to get one but this is out of control. I'm at the edge and can't see how I will make it work any more. I wanted to do so much in life and now I feel worthless