i want to feel like part of the family again and they want me to (at least that's what they are saying) but due to a few old wounds. What are some ways I can fix this?
Answers (2)
Find a common interest and do that with your family, such as biking or walking the dog. While you do these activities talk about things that don't relate to the issues. Maybe talk about space and big questions like that or about music. Then you will be able to be more open with your family.
Seems to me there are two options:
The slow way. You participate randomly once a month or every other month. Be paranoid expect someone or every one to mistreat you and be sure to carry around your old hurts totebag so you can keep the wound open by picking at it. And after a year or two if everyone has been perfect put them back on your Christmas card list.
The fast way, leave the totebag at home, jump in with both feet and if one person treats you badly understand that person doesn't speak for everyone and feel free to cut them out of your life. Family is important, give it a chance. Give yourself permission and if it doesn't work no harm no foul you tried, move on. If it does work...welcome home!
Best of luck for loving family get togethers over the holidays!